[ButterflyChild25]

k so I've had depression for a really long time, I was under camhs then transferred to an adult mental health team, but my depression definitely isn't controlled.
I've spent time as an inpatient in a mental health unit and been under the 'crisis' team a couple of times.
I try lots of things to help myself but I still struggle with self harm and suicidal thoughts (I don't want to act on them)

So, I exercise everyday on a cross trainer I bought, and go for daily walks, I'm in the process of returning to work (after a physical illness), I get 8 hours sleep every night, I've been having psychotherapy for over a year and eat healthily

but nothing helps.

I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm willing to try anything to improve things as I hate feeling this low all the time. I feel like it's all for nothing.

Please any suggestions are very welcome I'm at my wits end.

[Altered Moment]

I understand your frustration that nothing works. Good for you for exercising and eating healthy and you are lucky with getting 8 hours of sleep a night. A lot of us struggle with sleep issues. You are kind of validating my belief that exercise and diet are not enough in many cases. They have not worked for me either. I can make you a very long list of the things I have tried over the last twenty years. Yet my depression has gotten much worse in recent years. If you are able to return to work and go for walks at least you are somewhat functional and not in the deepest depths of depression.

I would suggest journaling and meditation.
I am on a kick lately, because I just read this book, about finding meaning and purpose even if it is in the smallest of things.

Have you been on meds? I just switched from Effexor to Fetzima and I am starting to notice a big difference with Fetzima. I am actually going to travel to my brothers today for a family event. I have not really gotten out of the house in months except to go to appointments and to the store.

Welcome to PC by the way. Keep posting.

[Maria38Divine]

The only other thing I could suggest is social interaction. Do you have close friends or are you involved in any community groups?

I know many of us find it really difficult to socialize, but I've found that being alone for extended periods can worsen depression.

[catsrhelm]

The only thing I can add is try medication. It makes a huge difference.

[ButterflyChild25]

Yeah, I've been on various medications for the last 3 years but never found it particularly helpful.
I have been on sleeping tablets for the last couple of months which is the only way I get sleep, and am returning to work part time after being off since September.
I hope I can manage with it, I'm hoping it will be what I need to turn things around, but I'm not getting my hopes up to much.

[Maria38Divine]

Originally Posted by ButterflyChild25

Yeah, I've been on various medications for the last 3 years but never found it particularly helpful.
I have been on sleeping tablets for the last couple of months which is the only way I get sleep, and am returning to work part time after being off since September.
I hope I can manage with it, I'm hoping it will be what I need to turn things around, but I'm not getting my hopes up to much.

Well, good luck with that job Butterfly, I'm hoping it works out for you. Fingers crossed

[Hong Kong Fluey]

Hey butterfly (btw, did you know they were originally called Flutterbyes but the stoopid, scientifically obsessed victorians changed the name!)

OK, I want you to do something for me, OK? Right, try to imagine someone else, say me, a man in his early 40's. I spent weeks on end hunched over crying for hours and hours sometimes and I have no one to hug me and make it better.

I say this not to take anything away from you, I say it because I am there with you too, in spirit if not in person. And no matter where our heads are we are capable of love, and are capable of being loved and you are loved.

So come and have a hug, it's OK x