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#1
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I've been struggling with depression for 15 years. Most days I've got it under control. Some days, no matter how hard I work at it I find myself thinking unpleasant thoughts. Vivid images of ways to end my life. I'm not suicidal anymore, I'm not thinking of ending my life, but the images of ways I could do it pop in my head. Then once its made it debut in my head, I have a hard time getting it out. It pisses me off so much.
Any one else ever have this problem? What do you do? |
#2
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I experienced this just a short time back, and have periodically with my depression. It is frustrating. To remedy it, I started with writing in a journal, but that deteriorated into more writing about those vivid images. I found that when I stopped writing about it and focused my attention on something else (in my case, searching for employment) has helped me. I also paid attention to my family and those close to me. But I know what you mean about those persistent unpleasant thoughts...they're always laying in wait. I hope that this passes for you.
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#3
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I've found that if I just accept it and not fight it or allow myself to dwell on it that it helps.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() regretful
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#4
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Oh yeah many of us have this problem.
Writing in a journal is very powerful as regretful says. Mindfulness is another technique. Imagine yourself as an outside observer and just watch the thought bubble up and then float away, don't fight them. Then bring yourself back into the moment. Each time they come up do it again.
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
![]() Nammu, regretful
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#5
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I was reading a book a couple months back "just shoot the damn dog" that was a personal account of a person's depression. The author said something that really resonated with me. She said that she had found that suicidal thoughts were a symptom of depression instead of an additional problem.
That way of thinking about it has helped me a lot. Like you I am not suicidal but thoughts sneak in. Now I treat it as a warning system. The thought comes and I stop and take a look inwards. Am I stressed, am I talking down to myself, do I need to practice some self care? It has really helped me, hope it can help you. |
![]() Nammu
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#6
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Intrusive thoughts are very scary. Its almost like a whole different spirit takes over my mind, leading me towards destruction. My normal self would never do these things, but that entity would. Its very hard to explain.
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