[Anony]

If there's one thing that helps me get through life, it's my family. I love having them nearby, in fact I need it. I can't stand the thought of them leaving me, but a while back my sister had gotten an offer for a very prestigious job in Asia. It actually would have been stupid for her to turn it down, so she accepted it. She leaves on December 26, the day after Christmas! I won't see her for a whole year once she leaves. I'm very happy for her and I know she's happy, but the closer the date comes the more frazzled I become. I hardly spoke at all today because I feel completely lost. I think I'm going crazy and I don't know that my mind can handle this right now. I feel like I want to jump up and down and scream 'Don't leave me! Don't go!' but I would never do that to her. I'm trying so hard to move on already and not let my feelings take over my life. I just really hope I don't lose it on the day she leaves, for her sake and mine.

[jacq10]

((((anony)))) I know how hard it can be to say goodbye to those in your life that you love. And i'm not going to lie it is going to be difficult for the first little while, but eventually things will ease. If you are as close as you are with your sister as it seems, then distance is not going to change your relationship. Keep her close to your heart, for she can never leave there.
Is there any way that you will be able to be in some sort of contact with her? If not .. well it make sound a little out there, but whenever i miss those people in my life that i love, i sit down on my computer and write a letter to them. Of course i never send it, but it helps to write as if you were talking to them. That way, even though you may not physically be able to express how you are feeling to them, you can still get some of your feelings out so you are not so alone.
Hang in there, and know that you can do this.
Jacq

I'm sorry your sister will be moving far away. This is hard. There's nothing wrong with wishing she wasn't going because you like having her near.

Missing people is hard. Acknowledge to yourself that it will be hard and let it happen.

What about making some plans? You could plan a special sister lunch or night out before she goes and talk with her about how you will miss her and give her a special going away gift. You can make plans about when you will call one another after she goes so you have that to look forward to. You could shop and buy her little gifts to send once a month or so.

Missing and being missed connect people when they are apart.

Mostly, though, just let happen what is happening. Trying to prevent, avoid, or ignore the pain/emotions won't work. Give yourself permission to have the emotions you're having. You can't move on until it is time to move on; you are still in the midst of the event yet. You will move on naturally after your sister has moved. It will be a shift in your life; an interesting growing experience.

"Losing it" on the day she leaves would be natural, don't you think?

ECHOES

to sisters!

[Anony]

Thanks for the quick replies. I'm having my good days and my bad days (with my sister leaving and with my depression). My mom and I did get the chance to have an 'outing' with my sister yesterday. It actually made me feel a little better. We went shopping in Chicago and had a nice lunch together. I have dealt with her being far before when she was in college, but never for such a long period of time. My sister, my mom, and I are kind of like the three musketeers and hopefully we can all be strong and get through this. I like your idea of sending little gifts every month (ECHOES), I think that will help me adjust to the situation easier.

[Boopers]

Hi Anony,

I'm so sorry you are losing your sister for a year. I know that must be very hard. I do hope that as the time goes by, it gets a little easier for you.
It sounds like you will need to be there for your mother as well. Maybe the two of you can help each other get through this.
You know, time does fly and a year will be gone before we know it and this will be just another bad memory.
Wishing the best for you and your sister,
Take care,
Linda