[JFB1962]

I'm almost ashamed to post this for alot of reasons but mainly because ya'll don't know me and here I am looking for answers...

When my ex T's transference (if you want to call it that) was over with, she realized what she had done and that she could lose her license...So to protect her own butt, she started telling me my memories weren't real, that it was me and no-one else...

I could write a book but I won't bore ya...

First let me say I don't have DID but I have this voice inside my head that takes over my thoughts...Trust me its not good...

The other day in therapy I had written alot of stuff for my new T and she made the comment that what I had written didn't make sense...Meaning my behavior and what was written didn't coincide together...

My ex T had a VERY powerful influence over me and when my new T said "It doesn't make sense" I remembered my ex T telling me my memories weren't real...In short all of this has been an overload on my brain and the voice is telling me things that I know aren't true but than I think about those 2 statements and I am doubting myself and I don't know what is real and what is not...who I can trust and who I can't...

But the voice is taking over and the voice will not allow me to cry and the voice says accept it, it's you and you deserve it...

My new T told me to challenge the voice but she is out of town so she has no idea what her words has started...Not her fault, thats not what I'm saying...

How do I stop?...The voice is driving me to the edge and I can't write on this board what it is telling me to do...So basicly, I'm pretty messed up....

I don't understand why this is happening...Am I really some sick psycho path and my ex T was right??...I hate this, I don't even trust myself anymore, I don't know what to believe and what not to believe even when I think it!

JFB

[(JD)]

Still try to challenge the voice... even if it's only with "you aren't real" "I'll wait until my T returns, go away." or such. Try not to think about therapy issues while the T is gone for a bit, ok?

You aren't crazy just because the previous T messed you up. It will take longer, and might be tougher along the way, but sounds like you have a keeper of a T now, and she'll help you find your way back.

When in doubt, don't believe what any voice inside tells you... tell it to go away... and try to focus on something else, a movie, a computer game.

TC!

Please don't feel that you shouldn't post your feelings here. This is a support forum and you will find that there are tons of good people here to talk to.

I am sorry that you ex-T messed you up. Don't give up. Fight the voice. You are welcome to post whatever you need to post if it helps you get through this. xoxoxo pat

[JFB1962]

TY!...This is a real struggle for me...I am so unsure of myself and everyone else right now that just one sentence said the wrong way sends me in a tizzy...

The tapping in my head had gone away TG b/c when I have it I want to bash my head through a wall, but this a.m. it was back...But atm it's gone...

The voice is quiet at the moment but I just come back from a 5 mile run so that always helps....JFB

exercise helps us in many different ways..........keep on running.........love, pat