[hardknocklife4me]

Hello All,

Kinda new here, I had an account a long time ago but lost the password and what not. but I suffer from depression as a 32 year old fastly approaching 33 year old man. I see my psychologist as much as I can afford to and even with health insurance frankly I don't make enough to see her and that makes me feel just as bad. I've pretty much isolated myself for most people after I realize they are users and fakes, the few real friends I have live miles away and have families and lives and I try not to call and burden them whenever I feel low. It's just a common courtesy that I have. Not many people know I suffer from depression I have an older brother who has a worse case of it than I do. he's my closest friend but I can't talk to him because he's is a bad place mentally and I don't want to add my crap to his.

I've been feeling very alone as of late, dead end job, the family I do have picks at me for my depression and the misfortune that I've gone through as of late, everything is funny to them or basically they just don't care. It's some deep rooted family issues I can say that much. my love life well, I'm a Taurus and we're known for being soft-hearted but caring. I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated but instead my kindness gets taken for weakness and these people get mad when I finally defend myself. the most recent female I was seeing said to me, because she saw my depression meds that "I hope these aren't crazy pills because I can't deal with you if you're crazy." that's the reaction I get if someone hears the word "depression" as though I'm an outcast but I didn't confirm her doubts I said no they weren't and shortly after asked her to leave. to the few I've ever told I dealt with depression they all ended up saying I was weak because of it, and after dealing with family and friends picking at you about this issue, the last thing you need is someone you may care for saying it too.

I'm tired and frustrated and I'm feeling very alone, and starting to feel like no one cares, does this happen to anyone else or am I just a special case???

[Altered Moment]

Unfortunately the stigma attached to depression and mental illness is alive and well and it sure doesn't make up feel any better. Welcome back to PC. I don't think you will find those kind of comments here. You are not alone and you will find alot of understanding here. We have had very long threads on what are the stupid comments that people have made to us. Snap out of it. Suck it up. Your just lazy.....and on and on. You deserve to find people in your life who understand and won't judge. At least here is a good place to start.

[hardknocklife4me]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

Unfortunately the stigma attached to depression and mental illness is alive and well and it sure doesn't make up feel any better. Welcome back to PC. I don't think you will find those kind of comments here. You are not alone and you will find alot of understanding here. We have had very long threads on what are the stupid comments that people have made to us. Snap out of it. Suck it up. Your just lazy.....and on and on. You deserve to find people in your life who understand and won't judge. At least here is a good place to start.

thanks, I really appreciate hearing that because as of late that's all I've heard. my military training (yes I served this country at one point in life) kicks in and I brush people off as best I can. I try to make connections with people I really do but they always end up showing their true colors and themselves end up being negative but yet they call me negative for dealing with depression... so it makes me wanna give up trying to be around anyone

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome Back, Hardknocklife4me.

Originally Posted by hardknocklife4me

...does this happen to anyone else or am I just a special case???

Yes, these kinds of things do happen to other people, but you are a "special case" in that depression affects us all in unique ways depending on our own genetics, health, life experience, social and physical environments, age, etc.

My ways of managing the illness may not work or work differently for you and vice versa.

An openly unsupportive family isolates and makes it all worse. Can you make yourself a hard target or a hard-to-find target?

[Frankbtl]

Hi hardknocklife, I'm really sorry that you have had to endure that from people. I'd say it comes as much from ignorance on their part and unfortunately there are people out there who have a lot of misled beliefs. Although try not to let any of that make you feel any worse about yourself (real easy to say, I know, but........). You know those people who have treated you so unfairly, just aren't worth it!! And just from reading your thread it sounds like you're a much more sensitive, caring person than any one of them, Hold your head up, and feel good about who you are compared with........as much as you possibly can.
And......there will be people who do understand out there, as evidenced on here, and it can be really good to be able to be open about how you're feeling and share things.
But even with some people who don't understand, then if they have the ability to be empathetic then maybe if you try and explain some of what you're experiencing then they may come much closer to getting where you're coming from. Of course that depends on being with people with that ability........
As for your friends who are miles away though maybe they'd like to know if you're having a hard time, and have that opportunity to be there for you. Afterall friendships aren't/shouldn't be just about good/happy times but about harder times as well.
And you know, wouldn't you want the opportunity to try to support/help a friend when they needed it if you could (or if you weren't feeling as you do now??) ? So do you think that just maybe you could tell them just a little of what's going on for you and give them that opportunity??
But with your psychologist could you ask her to arrange sessions in them with longer term goals as you're not getting to see her as much as you'd like?? I know this won't really fill the gap but it could give you some added focus for when you're not seeing her.
And of course you're not alone!! We're right here for you, and we care!! We're here to back you all the way!!
Alison

[hardknocklife4me]

Originally Posted by Rohag

Hello & Welcome Back, Hardknocklife4me.

Yes, these kinds of things do happen to other people, but you are a "special case" in that depression affects us all in unique ways depending on our own genetics, health, life experience, social and physical environments, age, etc.

My ways of managing the illness may not work or work differently for you and vice versa.

An openly unsupportive family isolates and makes it all worse. Can you make yourself a hard target or a hard-to-find target?

actually I've made myself a hard-to- find target, I've gotten to a point I just go to work and come home and stay away from people I feel are negative

[hardknocklife4me]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi hardknocklife, I'm really sorry that you have had to endure that from people. I'd say it comes as much from ignorance on their part and unfortunately there are people out there who have a lot of misled beliefs. Although try not to let any of that make you feel any worse about yourself (real easy to say, I know, but........). You know those people who have treated you so unfairly, just aren't worth it!! And just from reading your thread it sounds like you're a much more sensitive, caring person than any one of them, Hold your head up, and feel good about who you are compared with........as much as you possibly can.
And......there will be people who do understand out there, as evidenced on here, and it can be really good to be able to be open about how you're feeling and share things.
But even with some people who don't understand, then if they have the ability to be empathetic then maybe if you try and explain some of what you're experiencing then they may come much closer to getting where you're coming from. Of course that depends on being with people with that ability........
As for your friends who are miles away though maybe they'd like to know if you're having a hard time, and have that opportunity to be there for you. Afterall friendships aren't/shouldn't be just about good/happy times but about harder times as well.
And you know, wouldn't you want the opportunity to try to support/help a friend when they needed it if you could (or if you weren't feeling as you do now??) ? So do you think that just maybe you could tell them just a little of what's going on for you and give them that opportunity??
But with your psychologist could you ask her to arrange sessions in them with longer term goals as you're not getting to see her as much as you'd like?? I know this won't really fill the gap but it could give you some added focus for when you're not seeing her.
And of course you're not alone!! We're right here for you, and we care!! We're here to back you all the way!!
Alison

thanks and the irony is that my mom always calls me sensitive and soft hearted and most say they don't know how I made it as a U.S. Marine but I have asked my doc to help with more long term goals and she said that was a good idea.

[Frankbtl]

Hi hardknocklife, well that's a thanks to your mum for the compliment then!!
It says a lot more about her though as opposed to you if she's choosing to step all over that. Still it is her who's missing out by not really cherishing those qualities in you. Qualities that are undeniably there and qualities that others are going to really appreciate.
And as for others not knowing how you made it as a U.S. Marine, well what do they know about recruitment processes and how you managed in doing what you were doing??!! Weren't there were they??!!
And are they honestly so "up on themselves" to think that they could do a better job at recruiting or overseeing performance in what you were doing than the experts, the one's with experience??!!
So I'd say, that you've already 100% proved that there's a whole lot more to you than meets their eyes!!
And good luck with the long term goals, you know we're here to support you with them too!!
Alison

[hardknocklife4me]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi hardknocklife, well that's a thanks to your mum for the compliment then!!
It says a lot more about her though as opposed to you if she's choosing to step all over that. Still it is her who's missing out by not really cherishing those qualities in you. Qualities that are undeniably there and qualities that others are going to really appreciate.
And as for others not knowing how you made it as a U.S. Marine, well what do they know about recruitment processes and how you managed in doing what you were doing??!! Weren't there were they??!!
And are they honestly so "up on themselves" to think that they could do a better job at recruiting or overseeing performance in what you were doing than the experts, the one's with experience??!!
So I'd say, that you've already 100% proved that there's a whole lot more to you than meets their eyes!!
And good luck with the long term goals, you know we're here to support you with them too!!
Alison

Thank you and I really mean that... its been a struggle and as the saying goes its one thing after another.. I have people criticizing me for the old car I drive and yes I know its old, and needs a ton of work so I saved up the best I could to get a newer car, not brand new still cant afford that but I'm doing the best I can. and end up getting this newer car and its having problems, my family picks at me and so do others, saying I'm bad luck..lol but whats funny is these people have all types of help be it family or husbands or wives or whatever, for me..its just me and I'm doing the best I can with what I'm given and I get kicked while I'm down

[bushwackback]

Originally Posted by hardknocklife4me

Hello All,

Kinda new here, I had an account a long time ago but lost the password and what not. but I suffer from depression as a 32 year old fastly approaching 33 year old man. I see my psychologist as much as I can afford to and even with health insurance frankly I don't make enough to see her and that makes me feel just as bad. I've pretty much isolated myself for most people after I realize they are users and fakes, the few real friends I have live miles away and have families and lives and I try not to call and burden them whenever I feel low. It's just a common courtesy that I have. Not many people know I suffer from depression I have an older brother who has a worse case of it than I do. he's my closest friend but I can't talk to him because he's is a bad place mentally and I don't want to add my crap to his.

I've been feeling very alone as of late, dead end job, the family I do have picks at me for my depression and the misfortune that I've gone through as of late, everything is funny to them or basically they just don't care. It's some deep rooted family issues I can say that much. my love life well, I'm a Taurus and we're known for being soft-hearted but caring. I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated but instead my kindness gets taken for weakness and these people get mad when I finally defend myself. the most recent female I was seeing said to me, because she saw my depression meds that "I hope these aren't crazy pills because I can't deal with you if you're crazy." that's the reaction I get if someone hears the word "depression" as though I'm an outcast but I didn't confirm her doubts I said no they weren't and shortly after asked her to leave. to the few I've ever told I dealt with depression they all ended up saying I was weak because of it, and after dealing with family and friends picking at you about this issue, the last thing you need is someone you may care for saying it too.

I'm tired and frustrated and I'm feeling very alone, and starting to feel like no one cares, does this happen to anyone else or am I just a special case???

Hardknock,

Truly, props to you for dismissing a girlfriend that made that crazy pills comment. It takes a lot of strength and clear thinking to reject that when one is depressed, I think. Good for you.

You aren't alone, and you are worth all the hard work you put in now to overcome this depression. It may not go away and you will encounter people who don't understand, but everyone has to deal with people who don't understand them in some way. It's ok. Just focus on being the best you can be and being who you are, and the people who are good for you will be drawn to you.

And thanks for serving our country and covering our silly aces. ;-)

Take care bro.

[hvert]

I can't believe you made it as a US Marine and people are hassling you about it. Ridiculous! That's them and not you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your car. I hope you get the problems straightened out with your new one soon. It's pretty common to buy a new used car and find out it has a few things you need to fix, so you aren't alone. It's bizarre to give someone crap because their car needs a repair -- much more normal to be sympathetic, especially since we've all been there!

I have an 18 year old car that was paid off the day I bought it (used) 10 years ago. When people hassle me about it, I point out that I don't have any monthly payments. The car is getting old enough now that I actually get some compliments from strangers who once owned one and who are sorry they gave it up

With regard to feeling like you are surrounded by users and rude people, I think that growing up in toxic family situations has a huge impact. I am around your age and just figuring out that the reason I want to cut off all my friends isn't because I am depressed but because I am really bad at making friends. A lot of it has to do with the way I grew up and the relationship patterns my parents modeled.

So we can't really fix our parents (avoiding them helps sometimes!), but we can definitely start to focus on developing healthier relationships. Just being aware that we have a tendency to be drawn to users or unhealthy people is wonderful.

Are there any veteran support/service groups in your area? Any organizations that organize adventure trips for former soldiers? I wonder how it would feel if you spent some time with people who appreciated your service?

[hardknocklife4me]

Originally Posted by bushwackback

Hardknock,

Truly, props to you for dismissing a girlfriend that made that crazy pills comment. It takes a lot of strength and clear thinking to reject that when one is depressed, I think. Good for you.

You aren't alone, and you are worth all the hard work you put in now to overcome this depression. It may not go away and you will encounter people who don't understand, but everyone has to deal with people who don't understand them in some way. It's ok. Just focus on being the best you can be and being who you are, and the people who are good for you will be drawn to you.

And thanks for serving our country and covering our silly aces. ;-)

Take care bro.

Thanks for the kind words it's greatly appreciated it's been hard and continues to get harder. Some days I want to give up but I feel like I just can't let life win and beat me down but this past week and even today is one of those days where I just don't know

[hardknocklife4me]

Originally Posted by hvert

I can't believe you made it as a US Marine and people are hassling you about it. Ridiculous! That's them and not you.

I'm really sorry to hear about your car. I hope you get the problems straightened out with your new one soon. It's pretty common to buy a new used car and find out it has a few things you need to fix, so you aren't alone. It's bizarre to give someone crap because their car needs a repair -- much more normal to be sympathetic, especially since we've all been there!

I have an 18 year old car that was paid off the day I bought it (used) 10 years ago. When people hassle me about it, I point out that I don't have any monthly payments. The car is getting old enough now that I actually get some compliments from strangers who once owned one and who are sorry they gave it up

With regard to feeling like you are surrounded by users and rude people, I think that growing up in toxic family situations has a huge impact. I am around your age and just figuring out that the reason I want to cut off all my friends isn't because I am depressed but because I am really bad at making friends. A lot of it has to do with the way I grew up and the relationship patterns my parents modeled.

So we can't really fix our parents (avoiding them helps sometimes!), but we can definitely start to focus on developing healthier relationships. Just being aware that we have a tendency to be drawn to users or unhealthy people is wonderful.

Are there any veteran support/service groups in your area? Any organizations that organize adventure trips for former soldiers? I wonder how it would feel if you spent some time with people who appreciated your service?

Wow I can't believe it you guys understand totally and that it's someone who's gone through what I deal with. And I agree it's not all the time that I'm depressed but like you said I got this bad way of making friends and it sucks cause I feel alone a lot my oldest brother is like my best friend and he's all the way in Dallas Tx and I'm in Atlanta he suffers from major depression so I can't bog him down with my crap I'm just going through a ton right now having to sell and borrow things just to get buy. One of my hobbies is I'm a target shooter I love going to the gun range but I've had to sell most of my guns but two left and can't even afford to go shooting

[Viuam]

Originally Posted by hardknocklife4me

Wow I can't believe it you guys understand totally and that it's someone who's gone through what I deal with. And I agree it's not all the time that I'm depressed but like you said I got this bad way of making friends and it sucks cause I feel alone a lot my oldest brother is like my best friend and he's all the way in Dallas Tx and I'm in Atlanta he suffers from major depression so I can't bog him down with my crap I'm just going through a ton right now having to sell and borrow things just to get buy. One of my hobbies is I'm a target shooter I love going to the gun range but I've had to sell most of my guns but two left and can't even afford to go shooting

Hi there.... Quick question. You're a friggin Marine, which is awesome, and that means that you probably have a very special skill set. Is there no way to channel that knowledge into some sort of career? What are your colleagues doing with themselves right now? If that's not an option, is there no way to study something with a little help from the government? I know that there are programs that recruiters dangle at you in order to sign up for the army so that you can get an education. Would anything like that work for you?

And great that you sent that woman packing. That is a horrible thing to say to someone under any circumstance.

[hardknocklife4me]

A lot of my fellow Marines are either cops or some type of law enforcement or civil servant I've tried to be a cop with 5 different agencies all to be turned away and declined they told me being a Marine isn't enough. The college part is tricky only because it's not much that interest me when it comes to school. I like teaching people about firearms and safety and teaching people how to shoot and of course I like cars and bikes but that's about it

[Viuam]

Is there something you could do that suits your interests? Work at/open a firing range? Also, I know that school might not interest you too much but it will most likely provide you with some extra knowledge that will open doors for you. You could suck it up and study something and have a day job, and dedicate your free time to your hobbies that make you happy. Also, how can being a friggin MARINE not be enough! It's seems to me that you'd be overqualified if anything. What other requirements are they asking for?

[hardknocklife4me]

They say my job in the marines basically is not enough experience to be a cop

[bushwackback]

Honestly from the little I know of you, you probably don't want to work with them . You may have to get outside the box a little. How about working with an online entity. There are websites that are interested in self defense and marksmanship, disaster preparedness, etc.