How many of you can't work because of severe depression? I honestly feel my depression is so bad right now that I can't work, and it makes me feel like a loser (even though I wouldn't view anyone else who couldn't work because of depression a loser. I would just view them as very sick.)

So . . . maybe it would be helpful if I just accept the fact that I'm very sick right now?

I show up to work...... but I can not functionally DO any work.

I am simply stunned that they have not fired me. I guess they are simply too stupid to understand what I do.

[Verity81]

I'm off work currently, for the last 3 months but due to go back in 4 weeks or so. I knew I needed time off as I got so bad I ended up in hospital. I think if you are really feeling very sick then it doesn't hurt to take time out. It doesn't make anyone a loser, but I know how you feel cos I am hard on myself for not working too. The main thing is you recover and if a break is what you need then that's what you need.
Don't fall into the habit of just staying in bed or in the house getting more depressed! keep busy, do a little thing each day towards recovery. Keep as active as you can and get some emotional support. I go to a few support groups run by a mental health charity which has been really helpful.

[yumi]

I've wanted to work, yes, but my depression is always present no matter how hard I try to pretend outwardly its not there. My second divorce left me completely broken and I have yet to fully recover. I'm not sure if I ever will. I've done independent jobs like mystery shopping and what not or selling on eBay. A full time thing I know I would not be able to do. Not now. I wish I could. There are things I would love to do. I don't know how to explain the feeling from within. Its not about laziness, its something quite deep within my being. I know I am not well. After my second divorce, I prayed for deliverance to just get over it. I gave myself time to recover. That recovery is just not happening. Its like an invisible force weighing me down. Moving forward has been proven hard to do. Sure, I've had days or even weeks of feeling somewhat in a happier place, but as quickly as day turns to night, my inner strength always crumbles. I just don't know how to express it effectively. People judge me, oh how they judge. They are not in my shoes tho.

[Nammu]

right now I can not keep my apartment cleaned or me bathed, work......

[BeachGaBulldog]

My depression is so severe that I haven't worked in 3 years. I feel like a loser, but I just can't hold a job because of the severity. I have been on disability for a little over a year. Thank God for it!

[regretful]

I worked when I was depressed...I'm dragging myself into an office now, but not really working, but slogging along...When I was severely depressed in 2012, it was work in a profession that I enjoyed which snapped me out of my depression. Stupidly, I quit that job...depressed ever since...

[Pierro]

I was off sick from work last year for approx. 5 months. I was suffering from psychotic depression and needed that time off work. I ended up in hospital after a time, but I slowly was able to go back to work,but, when I went back I found it overwhelming and went job sharing (20 hours a week). Then after 3 months I had to go back to work full time due to financial pressures. I am coping at the moment. One piece of advice, don't be so hard on yourself. You are not well and you need the time of work. Accept this and try to do one thing a day to keep yourself going. Even if it is just to have a shower. I know what you are going through and I do hope things will turn around for you very soon.

[Altered Moment]

I have worked from the age of 14 until 49 in spite of all my bad depression. 90% of my days in life I have been moderately to mildly depressed. I learned to live with that and work helped me a lot for moderate to mild, even could bring me out of it altogether.

I was very lucky in that I had bosses at small companies where I was very valuable, actually the top dog and foreman and they never fired me. I was very good at my job. Three times a year I would miss three weeks to a month do to severe depression. So almost three months a year plus vacation time, that is a lot of work to miss and for a boss to put up with but I never got fired.

Then I joined the plumbers union and that was the real world and the companies in the union wouldn't put up with that. It mostly worked out because most of the time I was laid off as the economy crashed and we had little work and the times I did work I was not depressed. Over the last five years my depression has gotten much worse. I got called back to a big prison hospital job in Jan. 2012. Maid it until Oct. and starting getting depressed. I forced my self to go every day because I knew I would get fired. Last lasted for two months and then I couldn't cut it and missed three weeks and they fired me. My damn pdoc would only give me two weeks of disability and told me to suck it up and get back to work. Worst pdoc I ever had. I should have fired him years ago. I got called out to another job and made it one day and had a total break down.

After that I went into a six month long severe deep suicidal depression. I collected unemployment but I couldn't work. I was so suicidal and broke my family talked me into coming back to Michigan. Six months severe depression, four months pretty good but with a ton of anxiety and then another six month depression i am just now coming out of.

My family and I decided the best thing to do was apply for social security disability. I applied and got denied right away. That happens to everyone. My unemployment ran out. I am appealing the case but it can take up to a year and a half to get a hearing. I have not been able to work, I am broke and feel like a total loser over it all.

Very difficult going from working your whole life to being unable to work. Big blow and hard to except. I am working on accepting it. Being broke and depending on others is really difficult. Financial issues is my biggest trigger.

If your state has a state disablility program like CA does and you have a good pdoc, like I didn't, maybe you can start there and take the pressure off.

[Lorn]

It is what it is. If you're unable to hold on, then you're unable to hold on. People have bounced back from worse.

However, I think something like volunteer work where there are fewer commitments might be a good idea. I dragged myself in to work even when I was depressed and had mixed results.

One of the places I worked was a retail store where the only thing that mattered was networking and customers were treated like dirt. Disabled customers in need of extra assistance were passed around like hot potatoes until they reached someone who was isolated and not respected in the workplace such as myself. As a bonus, the entire time I was helping them my manager was sniping at me over radio, and oh the tone he took on when I asked him if I should let the customers handle it on their own and attend to his (aesthetic, by the way) problem.

That place made my depression worse, and having to face either working there or being unemployed with few skills was one of the things I was trying to escape when I was planning suicide.

My current job working with students (primarily returning adult, exchange, and ESL) is highly beneficial to me, as not only do I have a positive impact on other people but I have opportunities to improve my own knowledge and a social environment that involves no jockeying for status.

We're allowed to use our own judgment in prioritizing and our boss always has our backs. She goes so far as to be the one to make the tough calls involving things like no kids in the office so that students never see peers like us as the enemy giving them unpleasant news. Coworkers also cover each other's backs instead of dodging work, and I can cover all the data entry knowing that I'm simply the best person for the job.

I no longer consider depression an issue in my life, but moving out of toxic environments or solitude and into healthy ones played a role in keeping me from dropping back down.

Depending on the environment, a volunteer position could offer some of the same benefits while also preparing you to return to work in the future.

[with or without you]

I am working but it feels like a total f***ing chore recently, more than usual.

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[TheOriginalMe]

I have worked since leaving university (28 years ago). I lost one job due to my behaviour and attitude but really it was because I was depressed, I was incapable of functioning but my employers just took it as laziness and bad attitude.

The next job I had I was so depressed, sui and psychotic I was hospitalised and off work for 12 months. When I went back I got no support and was just expected to pick up where I'd left off. The job was out of office visits so I was on my own all day. I couldn't function, and just parked my car in laybys and either slept, cried or listened to the radio. In the end I was put on a disciplinary for gross misconduct, I only escaped being fired by disclosing the abuse I'd suffered from an coworker. Bizarrely, my employers just put me straight back on the road, on my own, no support, like I was too weird and damaged to have in the office. The coworker got away scott free.
After that I got a job working for MH services at a hospital. My boss was bipolar and kept trying to get me to finance his business plan. Anyhow, I realised that I could keep lurching from crisis to crisis or I could stay with a boss who earnt 3 times my wage but needed my investment (lol) or I could get myself out of the mess. So with a lot of hard work I rebuilt my CV, got a 100% attendance record for 5 years and eventually started on a proper career suited to my degree. I've stuck at that now for 17 years and I'm one of the most senior practitioners in my field (even if I'm only a medium sized fish in a footspa)! During this time of career building I have had some nasty episodes of depression but have been able to work through them. The problem is that each time I got more and more exhausted.

This last two years, I've been stuck in a treatment resistant episode. I managed to carry on up and till two weeks ago when I realised that I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't communicate, I couldn't stay awake, I couldn't write the simplest of reports, I couldn't get simple numbers to add up and I just kept screwing up the most basic of tasks. So for the first time in 20 years I've been signed off with depression. What a relief, I can breathe again and even though I don't do much I'm not constantly scared of screwing up. It is one less thing to beat myself up about.

I hope you are able to recover enough to get back into work, as I find having a job does help enormously, but it can be a long, hard slog and you have to be ready and well enough for that.

Originally Posted by newgal2

How many of you can't work because of severe depression? I honestly feel my depression is so bad right now that I can't work, and it makes me feel like a loser (even though I wouldn't view anyone else who couldn't work because of depression a loser. I would just view them as very sick.)

I've not been able to work for many years because of my social anxiety and depression. Many years ago, I tried working in various companies, but could not handle the social anxiety of it. I gradually took jobs below my skill level or jobs that provided minimal or manageable social interaction, so that I could cope. Finally, even that was too much for me, and I spent about 10 years being an independent software developer, so that I could work from home and over the phone/Internet. I could handle that, but it was very difficult to get new contracts after a while, and eventually it became a complete failure. I closed it down around 2005/2006. After that, I went into a deep depression and my anxiety became extremely bad. I think I had a breakdown.

I don't know if I could ever work a regular job again. Also, it has been so many years that I've worked, that I don't think many companies would hire me for anything now. I'm hoping to make some money with my writing, but I'm not sure if that will work out. I used to be a greater writer, but my depression and anxiety have messed that up too.

[SeekerOfLife]

I work because I have no choice. There is no one to help me financially. I am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder among other things. If I want to pay my bills and buy food, I must drag myself out of bed and get ready.

I think part of the problem is I'm married to someone who makes a decent living and who isn't harping on me to get a job. I also have a trust from my parents that provides me some income, pays half the mortgage and my law school student loan plus all uncovered health expenses. In a way I'm lucky, but before I was married I can recall being "forced" to work despite periods of depression because my parents were still alive and I had to support myself. In a way I'm unlucky because being forced to have a job would give me structure and a sense of purpose and accomplishment, which I lack right now. I often wonder to what extent my husband enables me . . .

[Jolisse]

I find working helps my depression and anxiety, it gives me a "purpose" and helps me feel better about myself.
The worse part is waking up at 5 am and getting there, but once I'm there I feel so much better.

[littlemiss44]

I don't work because of my illness. I have bp2, depression, anxiety and ptsd. I am on ssd and can only work pt. I am much healthier for not working ft. If you feel that yr illness affects yr ability to work you could look into getting on ssd. It's just a thought. I wish you weren't struggling so much. It sucks. Take care of yr self. Hug

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[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by littlemiss44

I don't work because of my illness. I have bp2, depression, anxiety and ptsd. I am on ssd and can only work pt. I am much healthier for not working ft. If you feel that yr illness affects yr ability to work you could look into getting on ssd. It's just a thought. I wish you weren't struggling so much. It sucks. Take care of yr self. Hug

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Thank you for this. I am appealing ssd at the moment. How long did it take you to get it?