[Alone91]

I've been friends with this girl for about 8 years. We used to do everything together, and now I see her maybe once every few months. At 23 I should be hanging out a lot of the time but it's always me alone. She's the only person I have to talk to, but talking to her about anything real has gotten me into trouble. I told her that I wished I was dead and her boyfriend found out, and refused to meet me. Of course 8 years means nothing compared to random guys she's meeting on the internet. She makes me feel like I'm not even worth caring about. She thinks its stupid that I'm so upset that her boyfriend was mean to me, but I've told her that I'm afraid that people are judging me, then she's the one who told me he wouldn't meet me. It's almost like she wanted to hurt me. I can't help but go on facebook, then in see pictures of him and I feel completely worthless. She's always talking about how an amazing person he is, but in my opinion an amazing person wouldn't treat anyone like that, much less your best friend. I just don't know what to do. I know that every time i see her i just feel more and more worthless. She's one of the main reasons I wish that I was dead. I feel like I should just walk away from something so toxic to me but she's my only friend. I just feel like if I was worth loving then I would actually have friends, and that the ones i do have wouldn't just blow me off and make me feel like complete crap. I could really use some advice

[Lorn]

Unfortunately, people do change - sometimes for silly reasons like a new boyfriend. I've experienced the same thing, and if you don't feel as though she has your best interests in mind and is looking out for you then distancing yourself might be a good idea. Maintaining peace is essential, imo.

Doesn't necessarily mean you have to stop talking entirely, but you have to preserve your own energy (probably better spent on expanding your social time) and look out for yourself, too.

[Fuzzybear]

[MissAriel]

I think it would be in your best interest to back away from this friend for a little bit. I know it hurts, but people change, especially at the age that she is. At this age, a lot of girls (myself included at that age) put a lot of importance in guys. I did the same thing, started dating a guy that I couldn't see wasn't a "great" person, and I pretty much stopped hanging out with all of my friends to spend my time with him. It wasn't anything personal against my friends, I just had tunnel vision. As much as it hurts, and as much as I know you need her, you have to pull away for your own sanity, at least for right now. Maybe hide her feed on Facebook so you don't have to see those pictures, or limit your time on social media. You don't have to end the friendship, just back away for a little bit. We're always here for you.

[scotch77]

Hi,

Just wanted to chime in here. It does hurt dealing with a best friend who has distanced themselves. Personally I believe it is her fault and not yours. I would never distance myself from someone I consider my best friend. I doubt you would either. It's called maturity and character and I bet you have plenty of that. I would also highly recommend speaking to your family doctor and a counselor as well regarding you feelings of not living anymore. It is not normal to have those feelings for a long time. Sometimes medication helps a lot in that regard as well in combination with counselling. Making new friends is definitely a good idea but that takes time and feeling better about yourself will help a lot as well. A lot of the time we make friends with people we work with or are in school with and therefore have some similar interests. Just making one or two new friends a year will do wonders for your mood and self esteem in the long run and then this issue with your best friend won't hurt anymore.

Take care,

D

[Curupira]

Relationships are complicated. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I have moved every 5 years for the majority of my life. I have lost more friends than I can count. When we are coping with the incredible monster that is depression it is really hard to to allow for the imperfections of other people. My husband and I had a big fight a couple of nights ago because he could not understand where I was coming from.

To be honest, it sucks. There is no way to get around it, most people are not equiped to handle depression, even those that love us dearly cannot always understand or relate what we are going through.

The bigger your support network is the better you will be able to cope. Not everyone will be able to meet all your needs. The more people you have around you the more support you will have.

Hope this helps