[frownupsidedown]

My birthday is in a few days and no matter how hard I try to forget about it and maintain life as usual, the uncomfortable feelings, depression, and sadness creep in....even when I'm asleep.

Another year older and another year spent alone with no personal life. I'm working again but am always low on money and sometimes worry I will not have enough for the next week. I spend all my time focused in on work which helps me bury all those feelings I have of sadness and loneliness but does nothing to make my personal life better.

I see all the things I've lost over the years due to mental illness that I will never have again and the loss is overwhelming. I have no friends and my family doesn't understand. I missed seeing my therapist this week due to illness and feel like I have to talk to someone but have no one to talk to.

I wish people could see the tremendous pain and sadness I hold within me--even after years of therapy it is still there.

[littlemiss44]

I completely understand where you are. Yr not alone. Do you have a good relationship with yr therapist? It's good that you have one to talk to. I'm sorry yr family doesn't understand yr illness. I have that same problem. They don't even want to be bothered with it at all. Do you have a pdoc too?

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[mountainstream]

fownupsidedown, you're not alone in your feelings of depression and sadness - - not that that makes your situation any better, I realize. Keep posting about your feelings on here. There are a lot of caring, supportive people who've been where you are.

[30ish]

I'm so sorry that you're coming up on another birthday but faced with the same feelings of sadness and depression. I know you said you missed your appointment because of illness. Have you thought of seeing your therapist twice a week until your birthday passes? Sometimes those extra sessions gives a person a bit more strength to get through those periods of increased difficulty. Hopefully you've considered medication even if only temporarily.

My dad and I were talking a few days ago and he voiced his amazement at people that are often mad or dismissive of others struggling with mental illness. He said something to the effect of: if a person who is struggling with physical illness is encouraged, comforted and helped then why is mental illness any different. It's not... too bad your family doesn't realize that. It may be hurtful to you but they are causing as much damage to themselves and they don't even kow it. Hoping things will be brighter soon...