[Forafriend1371]

I've known my girlfriend for 3 years now. We took a break this last year because I've been in Japan, during which she dated this other guy. They recently broke up because she realized she has too strong of feelings for me and he wasn't good for her, it's complicated. Anyways, they recently were pretending to be pregnant between themselves because she really wants a baby and she told me it felt almost real and that after they broke up she said it feels as if she lost the baby and that it kind of makes her feel depressed. Is that normal? I want to be supportive, but I'm not sure how to help. I told her she can pretend to be pregnant with me and I'll go along with it and I want to have a family with her when we're both ready. Is there anything I can do?

[Travelinglady]

Hello, ForaFriend1371, and welcome to Psych Central! I can see how if she really got into this role-playing of being pregnant, then she might feel a sense of loss and thus some depression when she is "no longer pregnant."

I have to say that this situation is a new one on me, so what I say is definitely going to be talking off the top of my head. First of all, I am wondering what she is getting out of pretending to be pregnant. How did this role-playing manifest itself? Did she put a pillow around her tummy and wear maternity clothes?

Does she really want a baby right now or is she just enjoying the attention that pregnant women often get? I really think it's important to know what's in her head before you agree to playing this game with her.

I honestly think this issue might be one to run by a therapist. She might resent being told she should see one, so maybe you could talk to one about it. She is obviously not happy with how her life is now.

Just some general thoughts....

I hope things will work out for the two of you, if that's what you desire.

What say the rest of you?

[healingme4me]

Pretend pregnancy or not, how's your ability to trust, where she dated while you were away?

Not sure what's in the role play aspect?

What makes her the ideal candidate to settle down with?

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[Forafriend1371]

Thank you for your insight. She really does want a baby soon. She isn't really the attention seeking type. I think it might be a related to other problems in her life. She's had some bad boyfriends in the last years, and we've had some bad fights as well. But we've been able to work through our problems together. Her relationship with her mom has been kind of hard lately too. Her mom has turned to alcohol a lot lately and she said she doesn't feel like she can trust her anymore. She told me she feels as if she has some abandonment issues and I try to show her that I'm here for her and that I truly love her and support her. I think she just wants a chance to give a baby the love that she feels she doesn't receive. And to answer your question healingme4me, she is the only girl I've ever been with that I truly feel a connection with. Ik I can trust her not to judge me, and yeah her dating another guy while I was away did cause some really big fights between us. But we've both realized we need each other. She's the only girl that makes me truly happy.