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#1
May 08, 2014, 08:18 PM
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Ugh, this just annoys me about my friend.
She says to be just happy, be a carefree person,don't care other think, love life, & live it to the fullest.You need to stop being so negative. She also asks, & seems to get annoyed when someone says there always sad, or they can't be happy. She tells to to go be happy. What to say when people react like this? I won't tell her I am suffering with it-but should I tell her some facts? |
 Anonymous200265, mulan, perseverance11, StarStrike, themotions, Viuam, waterknob1234
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#2
May 08, 2014, 08:22 PM
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She does not get it. Believe me, if I could just "choose" to be happy, I would. I am afraid she would ignore any facts you give her.
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#3
May 08, 2014, 08:27 PM
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Quote:
When we are in a depression, we can't be happy. It is a mental illness. If this person doesn't understand that, that is her problem. Yes, you should tell her some facts. How long have you been suffering from depression? perseverance11 |
| Sophie0126
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#4
May 08, 2014, 09:10 PM
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Quote:
What should I tell her? |
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#5
May 08, 2014, 09:15 PM
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THESE:
ALL of THESE: Hyperbole and a Half: Adventures in Depression Hyperbole and a Half: Depression Part Two |
 Nammu
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#6
May 08, 2014, 09:22 PM
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Quote:
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#7
May 08, 2014, 10:33 PM
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#8
May 08, 2014, 11:23 PM
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When Depressed, does anything come from it, for you? Some conduct their deepest thinking. Happiness, what is happiness? Negativity, can lead to a sense of cynism. Can be protective, in a way, from acts, such as blind trust. Looking at solutions to lifes issues, that the uber positive sect couldn't possibly comprehend. Brings balance to the universe, in it's own way. A melancholic brooder? Perhaps? A deep thinker, perhaps? You accept you for you, and her for her...command the same in return, as symbolic of respect? The annoyance part, sounds like the part where she tells you that you need to be....(fill in, less negative)...you need to be you, she needs to be her... Does that skirt depression?  Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
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#9
May 09, 2014, 02:13 AM
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People just don't understand or care unless they've experienced it themselves or have someone they care about with depression. Even some older people, not just young ones will say just be positive. How lucky they are to not even know how it feels. I don't bother telling people unless they are doctors or someone that is also depressed, save myself the frustration.
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#10
May 09, 2014, 04:52 AM
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She'll never know how you feel, so she can't possibly tell you what's going on in your mind. People who've never had depression just don't realize how powerless it makes you feel. I'm sure we'd all like to just take control and get rid of it, but that's hard when you can't see how.
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#11
May 09, 2014, 05:55 AM
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Just tell her that she's only able to be happy because her brain chemistry allows it. When people are depressed, even if they decide to do 'enjoyable' things, they can't feel the benefits like they used to. They feel sad because the things that are meant to make them happy are not working for them.
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#12
May 09, 2014, 06:12 AM
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[was really serious about the links btw, for some people in my life those helped to really explain depression in a strange way that I never could]
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#13
May 09, 2014, 06:53 AM
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Even my husband says this. "Be happy, be grateful for what you have"etc my inlaws (his whole family) do the same.
I always say to people who say this that if they experienced a day in my head they would struggle and that I wished I could flick a switch and "get over it"! That would be easy and I'd do it in a heartbeat of I could! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#14
May 09, 2014, 08:26 AM
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She gets angry when I tell her the truth .
She's usually is happy. She's them thinks everyone should be. I wish I could be a happy person. I keep wishing, & remember those days when I enjoyed things, had fun,& was happy. It's been awhile for that. |
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#15
May 09, 2014, 02:31 PM
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She keeps telling people to be happy
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#16
May 09, 2014, 03:17 PM
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 Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2 |
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#17
May 09, 2014, 04:50 PM
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She'll be supportive and ask how can she help without getting on her soap box about people can be happy by choosing to be happy. It's much more than that...you know it, you're living with it, as many of us are. We're struggling. None of us choosing to be depressed, unhappy, sad...etc. Wouldn't you love to be the person you were meant to be before everyone started telling you who you should be?
__________________
"Tears are words the mouth can't say nor the heart bear." - Joshua Wisenbaker |
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#18
May 09, 2014, 06:20 PM
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Don't get mad at her for not understanding... I know it is frustrating.. but try to keep calm... thats my advice. |
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#19
May 09, 2014, 06:36 PM
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I've lost a lot of friends through my depression. And this was the reason. I would try to explain send articles. And I mean I know they can't understand exactly but they didnt care to try either. I know it sucks but you really find who you can trust and who you can't during times like this. Hugs
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Sophie0126
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#20
May 09, 2014, 07:53 PM
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She's just, everyone should be like ____. She gets angry if we tell the truth,don't do what she wants. Quote:
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#21
May 09, 2014, 08:28 PM
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It is annoying when people tell you to just "be more positive" or just "be happy." I think many people don't understand depression unless they have lived thru it. I wish it were that simple where we could just choose to be happy. Its not. I agree with Healing's post. She needs to respect you as you are. You respect her and she needs to respect you. Best wishes
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| Anonymous200265, Sophie0126
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| PoorPrincess
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#22
May 09, 2014, 09:01 PM
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I had a friend tell me several times that she just has to "choose to be happy". I don't get it. If it was a choice why wouldn't I take it over the alternative? My folks are all the time telling me "Mage, if you would just get up in the morning instead of sleeping til 2 in the afternoon you would start to feel better" or "why don't you go for a walk?" or "why don't you go work in the garden and get some sun?" I've tried. It doesn't help me much. Getting out of bed is so hard sometimes they just don't seem to understand. My pdoc even said the same thing. When I told him I get up between 2 and 3 and don't go to bed until 3 or 4am he just gave me this look like "no wonder you're depressed". "Try to get up around 9 or 10 and go to bed no later than 2" he said. I've tried. The wee hours of the morning is when I feel most calm, when everyone else is asleep and I don't have to worry about them bothering me.
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#23
May 10, 2014, 08:23 AM
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How can she call herself your friend if you can't be truthful?
We all have imperfections. Seems like she doesn't want to know the real you. That makes me sad. We all need at least one person who will be there for us, in the good times and rough times, lumps, bumps and all. Yet she ran to you when she couldn't cope with someone who wanted to end it all... Depression isn't something you just get over. It isn't something you can just "suck it up."
__________________
"Tears are words the mouth can't say nor the heart bear." - Joshua Wisenbaker |
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#24
May 10, 2014, 11:56 AM
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Hello guys I wanted to add to the OP and all they PC community. In my own experience I know with someone who is suffering from depression that you just can't happy your self out off depression.
Depression is not about forcing yourself happy, or not being man or woman enough (weakness), like every one else has said so it is a mental illness (more of a pschycological condition), that is reversible because at some point in time we all as humans experience sadness and depression. Now some of us have a chronic condition of depression and need to seek medical help until we feel better. OP, try to educate these people, wheather if they are friends or your family members. It is an illness just like any other one and it is a hidden one (just like if anyone has a liver or diabetes problem). Many people need to be more educated on what depression is and also the underlying stigma that sorry de depression needs to be lifted.
__________________
oliamble - anything is possible if you set your heart, mind and soul to it, I mean anything. |
| healingme4me
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#25
May 10, 2014, 05:55 PM
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I proably won't tell her about my depression. She'll proably judge me.
She thinks you can snap out of it, if you be you,& carefree.. I wish I could go back when I was kid. & enjoy things. |
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