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Anonymous100101
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Default May 17, 2014 at 01:23 AM
  #21
Oh honey,

Please, please don't give in. This is a terrible illness and we have all had those times whe the dark thoughts seem to consume us. I know it is hard for you to believe but it will get better. I'm so glad you are going into the hospital. As someone mentioned, it does not sound as if your meds are working or if they are the right meds.

Think of all the hugs and love and prayers that are going out for you. We love you-you are one of us and we support you completely. You can share your heart with us-write until your fingers go numb-we will listen. And maybe by writing about it, some of it will leave you.

Just hang on for a little while. Know how many people are rooting for you.
And as so many have said, PM me if you need to talk to someone. And please, take care of yourself.
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spacegeek1
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Default May 17, 2014 at 03:39 AM
  #22
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Originally Posted by secretwhisper View Post
I'm sorry for always moaning about the same old stuff. I've been so needy it's disgusting. But I am in such a bad place again. And I don't know what to do. I don't know how long I can keep doing this. I really don't think I can last much longer. I know I'm going to end up doing something, it's just a matter of time. I feel so defeated and hopeless. I'm so tired of this life. I wish there was just a simple switch to shut me down. I'm like a broken toy that can't be fixed, should just be chucked out. There's so much more I could say, but I can't.
Hi secret whisper(is that the george michael song?)
I can't think of words,but a well timed hug is what i will give you.
Keep on going!
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Anonymous200125
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Default May 17, 2014 at 04:19 AM
  #23
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Originally Posted by spacegeek1 View Post
Hi secret whisper(is that the george michael song?)
I can't think of words,but a well timed hug is what i will give you.
Keep on going!
Haha I never thought of the George Michael song nah it's from a band called Secret and Whisper. It just popped into my head when I was signing up
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healingme4me
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Default May 17, 2014 at 05:30 AM
  #24
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Originally Posted by secretwhisper View Post
I really do appreciate all your kind words, and I am trying my very hardest to be strong. I just don't know how long I can keep going. I am just falling apart.
Then don't focus on having to be strong. Just a little moment of hope, even realizing you aren't alone in this depth of despair.

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2
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Frankbtl
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Default May 17, 2014 at 12:32 PM
  #25
Hi secretwhisper, that's really brave of you to be thinking of the hospital. I know you may not want it to get to that, but the most important thing is what's right for you.
So you know hope doesn't have to be gone, if you need the hospital then they may be able to give you the meds and help you need, but I'm sure you can find just a little (?) more hope and strength on here too. And we're hanging with you whether you choose/need the hospital or not.
And whatever's going to work for you e.g. taking things an hour......two hours.......at a time........trying to focus on "better" times ahead, really acknowledging how you're feeling and trying to take control of it, or "just" letting out/sharing how things are........
Either/any way we understand, and we're here for you.
Alison
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Heart May 17, 2014 at 12:54 PM
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waterknob1234
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Default May 17, 2014 at 01:18 PM
  #27
Hang on Secret. I don't see you as a broken toy that should be thrown out. You have been so kind and helpful to everybody here, including and especially me. This depression business is a miserable thing. I wish there was something that could make it better. But know we love you and we care. Hang in there and keep posting.
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TheOriginalMe
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Default May 17, 2014 at 01:45 PM
  #28
(((((((Secretwhisper))))))) Broken toys become the treasures of the future. Maybe I don't believe that, maybe you don't believe that, but the world is imperfect and has room for us all, whether we feel like we belong here or not.
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Anonymous200125
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Default May 17, 2014 at 02:48 PM
  #29
Thanks guys I was hoping to be admitted to hospital today but there are no beds available for me. I was waiting all day for a phonecall and I just got it telling me that there aren't any. Instead the crisis team have said they will come see me tonight so I just have to sit around and wait for them now. I feel like it's all a bit unecessary now because I generally feel safer at the weekend anyway because my bf is home with me.
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Frankbtl
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Default May 17, 2014 at 03:19 PM
  #30
Hi secret, not unnecessary, really glad that you're feeling safe, but you do deserve their support. And they can always do some action planning with you for when/if you're feeling like that again, or advise on any changes in medication that might benefit you while they're there. And certainly nothing they should be dismissing in the way you've been feeling. Make the most of the visit, about time they're coming!!
And you know what, if the waits seeming long, frustrating............hang with us if it'll help. We care, and if you want to talk......we're here for you.
Alison
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Momentofclarity
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Default May 17, 2014 at 06:25 PM
  #31
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Originally Posted by secretwhisper View Post
Thanks guys I was hoping to be admitted to hospital today but there are no beds available for me. I was waiting all day for a phonecall and I just got it telling me that there aren't any. Instead the crisis team have said they will come see me tonight so I just have to sit around and wait for them now. I feel like it's all a bit unecessary now because I generally feel safer at the weekend anyway because my bf is home with me.
Your bf might find their presence comforting though. Might make him feel that everything isn't resting on his shoulders. I am not saying it IS and I dunno what he feels but it's quite possible..

Nevertheless.. The crisis team seam fat and probably need some exercising...

p.s (if anyone here belong to or know someone who belongs to a crisis team or this crisis team and find my comment insulting I apologise. Don't mean any actual harm.)
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Anonymous200125
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Default May 18, 2014 at 05:14 AM
  #32
Lol you do make me laugh

They turned up at 11:45 last night when I was in bed so I didn't bother opening the door, I needed sleep more than I needed to see them. Just got a phonecall from them now telling me they'll come out today somewhere between 4 and 7pm so now I wait!
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Default May 18, 2014 at 12:03 PM
  #33
Hope the visit from the crisis team goes okay secret.
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Default May 18, 2014 at 01:55 PM
  #34
It went ok thanks, they think hospital is the best place for me right now but still no beds! Maybe tomorrow...
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Default May 18, 2014 at 02:47 PM
  #35
Hi secret, it is good that they've recognized/understood how hard things are for you. Hopefully tomorrow you'll get the real help you need/the help you deserve, but if you need any support until then, we're here for you.
Alison
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