[pisces22]

I'm 20 years old and I've had depression, anxiety, social anxiety and self esteem issues for 6 years. I used to enjoy things and have dreams and aspirations. I don't have any friends, I don't know how to talk to people my age or in general. I've never had a boyfriend. I'm unemployed and not in school. I think those are my triggers. I've always had anxiety attacks throughout the years but a few weeks ago, I started getting really anxious and this week I had a major anxiety attack and now I feel severely depressed. I can't eat and I don't feel like doing anything. I was also on my period this week and I don't if that had anything to do with it. I just keep thinking and thinking about old age, death and my existence and I get extremely scared. I've never gotten any therapy or medication for this. I feel so hopeless. I can't cry. All I feel is sadness and those reoccurring thoughts. I need help. I want to feel alive and be okay again. But I don't know how I'm so desperate. I just need to talk to someone. I'm so tired. All I want to do is sleep. I want to be happy. I feel like this will never end? Like I'll feel like this forever. I'm also really scared of taking medication and getting addicted and overdosing and dying. I'm in my room right now alone and my whole family is outside eating pizza and watching a movie and talking. I feel this desperation. Like I want run out but I also feel scared. Is there any over the counter medicine that can calm me down that I can take in the mean time because its gonna take a long time to get an appointment with a therapist. I don't want to feel this anymore.

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[pegasus]

Hello pisces22, welcome to Psych Central!

Well, it does sound like you have anxiety and depression, the two like to hold hands. You need to see your doctor and get some medcation and seek therapy. You've recognised that you need help. Keep sharing here.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

First off, welcome to PC. Hope you stick around, as it sounds like you have a multitude of problems and could do with the support.

I relate to a lot of that, unfortunately. I'm 27, ... pretty much have what you said: fear of death, (I think, mainly, social and health) anxiety, depression, but I also have OCD. I get that desperation feeling, .. I don't understand it myself; it's almost like a desperation to feel alive, or as I put it: to have and feel a purpose.

As I understand it, ... from a guy's PoV, periods enhance emotions, ... kinda just throws everything outta whack, so I imagine it has something to do with it, but I expect it's definitely not the only reason why you are feeling like crap. Lots of people here take a ton of medication, so it's always worth asking about, if you're curious about a particular kind.

Maybe you need some TLC, ... run a bath, light some incense, watch something funny, listen to lovely music, or do whatever else that will ground or calm you. Want to feel alive? Ground yourself with your senses, ... such as smelling something you like, feeling something you like, seeing beautiful things, etc.

I get your fear of medication, ... I am similarly concerned. I have taken Citalipram, Fluoxetine, and am currently on Propranolol, ... I've yet to be addicted. Assuming your doctor isn't an spoon, he won't be getting you addicted to drugs, so have a little faith in medication.

Sorry that I have little else to suggest.

PS
Sometimes I workout as a way to feel alive or to almost fight off the crappy feelings and stuff.. maybe try that? Jogging, biking, or dancing is viable... not sure what else to suggest without bringing weight training into the mix.

[Idiot17]

Welcome to pc.

Hi pisces22, I don't have much sage advice for you other than I agree it would be a good idea for you to be evaluated by a professional. Medication and therapy can be very helpful in combatting depression and anxiety. Best of luck, and please keep posting.

[tired_girl90]

Hello there, and welcome! I'm glad you are open to therapy, it definitely helps to have someone to talk to. And yeah, being on your period throws your hormones all out of balance which can lead to mood swings and sadness, which is hard when you're already feeling down because of depression. Honestly, I've never come across anything over the counter that calms my anxiety, there are natural remedies you can buy at health food stores though.While you're waiting for an appointment (I know how long that can take, ugh!) keep posting here, it really helps to know that you're not alone! You can always send me a private message, I also struggle from anxiety & depression so maybe I can help? Take care, and keep us posted!

[pisces22]

I don't know to reply to each one of you individually but reading your posts makes me feel better. I feel a little better today than I did yesterday. Thank you all!

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[HonestlyMe35]

Originally Posted by pisces22

I'm 20 years old and I've had depression, anxiety, social anxiety and self esteem issues for 6 years. I used to enjoy things and have dreams and aspirations. I don't have any friends, I don't know how to talk to people my age or in general. I've never had a boyfriend. I'm unemployed and not in school. I think those are my triggers. I've always had anxiety attacks throughout the years but a few weeks ago, I started getting really anxious and this week I had a major anxiety attack and now I feel severely depressed. I can't eat and I don't feel like doing anything. I was also on my period this week and I don't if that had anything to do with it. I just keep thinking and thinking about old age, death and my existence and I get extremely scared. I've never gotten any therapy or medication for this. I feel so hopeless. I can't cry. All I feel is sadness and those reoccurring thoughts. I need help. I want to feel alive and be okay again. But I don't know how I'm so desperate. I just need to talk to someone. I'm so tired. All I want to do is sleep. I want to be happy. I feel like this will never end? Like I'll feel like this forever. I'm also really scared of taking medication and getting addicted and overdosing and dying. I'm in my room right now alone and my whole family is outside eating pizza and watching a movie and talking. I feel this desperation. Like I want run out but I also feel scared. Is there any over the counter medicine that can calm me down that I can take in the mean time because its gonna take a long time to get an appointment with a therapist. I don't want to feel this anymore.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

First of all, you are not alone. Second, yes your period is most likely the cause of making you feel worse...it does for me too. Third, medication will not completely fix your problem. You also need to do the work... what is the work? Reach out and get help! You did it here so pat yourself on your back! Get into a live support group where others like you can help and support each other and you will realize you are not alone and can get through this and feel better soon.

A job, going to school, a hobby or even volunteering will all help you to feel better about yourself. I promise!

Good luck! You can do it!