[katya093]

hello all !
so i just turned 19 and i am dating someone....older. (:
we have been together for almost a year and he is my rock and makes me smile . we act like best friends as well as being a couple and try to have as much fun as possible even when times are rough .
problems do come up with having this relationship .
like my mom not approving and wanting me out of the family .
losing all of my old friends . it gets really difficult .
more on my side then his .
we live together and have for about six months now
and what i really am getting at

is i want to know peoples OPINION
on if age matters or not .
thank you so much !
also i will not get offended by what ever or try not to so fell free to speak what you truly think .
thank you guys <3!
(: xo-Katya

[manicminer]

Well the age doesn't really matter, but context is everything.

For instance:

How much older is the guy?
Are you still in school?
What do each of you do for a living?
Is there any drug/crime/abuse etc past with him?
What kind of "baggage" do you both bring to the table?

But really when it comes down to it, you're 19, an adult, and can make your own decisions.

[katya093]

haha ok ill inbox you

Age really doesn't matter once you're both adults. The thing that people tend to forget is that the thing that matters is the maturity level. I've met people my age (40 somethings) that were childish and 18 - 20 year olds mature way beyond their years. The group that is so set on age being such a big factor is forgetting that the number means nothing. Some might say "well a 20 year old doesn't have the life experience that a xx year old has..." But I ask this question in response to that: do you think that just because someone is younger, that they couldn't have had the experiences an older person would have? Think about a younger person that has been through the wringer in life and compare that to a 30, 40 or even 50 year old that has had a life of ease... I could go on explaining what I mean but I hope you get the gist of it from this.

Don't worry about it, if you both get along great and your relationship is good, that's all that matters.

[Broncos Chick]

I, to a certain extent, belive that age is nothing but a number. But I must ask...how much older is this guy? Not passing any judgement here but when I hear of young girls dating guys that are WAY older then them all I can think is "if he can't get a girl his own age, there must be something wrong with him." Just my opinion though. As long as you are happy and he treats you right, that's all that matters.

[ClaireJJJ]

Love can cross boundary's that others impose or believe are normally acceptable. It's not just age, but religions, sexuality, gender, wealth, poverty, disabilities and a multitude of differences, but that is all they are. If you are comfortable with those differences and accept them and they don't bother you then those that truly love should also be willing to accept your choice, but they have the right to their own beliefs and if you step out of the norm you cannot expect them to understand or change the way they feel either. It is a mixed bunch of emotions, but at the end of the day love is love, fate is fate, the choices you make in life is who you are <3

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Broncos Chick

when I hear of young girls dating guys that are WAY older then them all I can think is "if he can't get a girl his own age, there must be something wrong with him."

I must have been living completely out of touch with reality for the past couple of decades. Is it not the case that older men often prefer younger women? Not that they cannot get girls their age, but they prefer not to??

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by katya093

hello all !
so i just turned 19 and i am dating someone....older. (:

it is not clear how much older - older than your parents, grandparents, or 5 years older or 10?

but any which way, you should be OK - it does not matter.

[yoslos12]

Yeah, I really don't think age matters. I had a friend my age (also 19) who was dating someone who was like 35 I think. If it's right to you, I really don't see a problem. It's always hard to do something that lots of people don't necessarily agree with but you just have to be you. If you do that, things will always turn out for the best.

Cheers
yoslos12

[adam_k]

I think the relationship should be mutually respectful. If he is much older and you are treated like I subordinate or child in the relationship then it is a problem. Do you have equal say in the relationship? Are your needs being satsified?

If the relationship is long term, later in life a large age difference may make a difference. Let say if he is 20 years older, when you are 40 he would be 60. At that age difference he would be at a different stage of life. You would be becoming older but still productive and he would be going into his golden years and his life would be winding down. At age 60 your body starts to age much faster than earlier in life. Just something to think about.

[lonelyemotionalgirl]

I believe that age does not matter. Many people do not act their own age, and may be extremely mature for their age, or really immature for their own age. As long as two people get along, love each other, and respect each other, I believe that it is fine, and that other people should not be against it. Your relationship is your own business, and if you know that you and the guy love each other, than that is awesome. I believe that others may not have to agree with it, but should not be against you. If it makes you happy, then others should be happy for you!

This post makes a very good point about the physiological issues that kind of relationship will face in later years. I'd written something similar when I lost my connection. The difference in emotional maturity and cultural interests could pose very big problems. The physical difference between a 40 year old and a 60 year old is significant.

Originally Posted by adam_k

I think the relationship should be mutually respectful. If he is much older and you are treated like I subordinate or child in the relationship then it is a problem. Do you have equal say in the relationship? Are your needs being satsified?

If the relationship is long term, later in life a large age difference may make a difference. Let say if he is 20 years older, when you are 40 he would be 60. At that age difference he would be at a different stage of life. You would be becoming older but still productive and he would be going into his golden years and his life would be winding down. At age 60 your body starts to age much faster than earlier in life. Just something to think about.

Age doesn't matter. It's maturity that's important.

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I must have been living completely out of touch with reality for the past couple of decades. Is it not the case that older men often prefer younger women? Not that they cannot get girls their age, but they prefer not to??

I don't know about the typical male, I know I do

Originally Posted by Broncos Chick

I, to a certain extent, belive that age is nothing but a number. But I must ask...how much older is this guy? Not passing any judgement here but when I hear of young girls dating guys that are WAY older then them all I can think is "if he can't get a girl his own age, there must be something wrong with him." Just my opinion though. As long as you are happy and he treats you right, that's all that matters.

That's a wildly presumptuous statement. Why must there be soemthing wrong with him, for one and two, why do you think it has to equate to him not being "able" to get someone his age? Have you considered the fact that maybe many males PREFER younger women?

I for one do, and I could just as easily be with someone within my age range, having been with women my age myself.

Very judgemental thinking here. But to each their own.

my gut says if the relation is a non-sexual one.... then he is sincerely interested in you as a person. If there is a push for intimacy - then he probably views you as a conquest......