[stefi91]

So I'm in my early twenties and I have been battling depression since I was 16. I got better in the last year and was able to be taken off the depression meds. However, I have started noticing the depression coming back. Then today it hit my high point. I have sit on my couch crying for the last hour.
See my dad had a pretty bad stroke about a month ago, followed by my best friend having a still born baby a week later. Then last week my mom got really sick.
I graduated from college about a year ago and have been trying to get back into school to complete my education with a bachelors degree then law school. However I am having issues with my financial aid. I want to get out and get a job and start my life, but it seems like my life takes a back burner to everyone else. My siblings are all older and when they were my age, they had started to live their own lived. But now it seems that everything falls on me to take care of everyone. I really want to be able to have a job and live on my own and basically just start to be my own person. But my sibling and parents expect me to be the one that doesn't have a life.

So now I am feeling like my own life is hopeless. It feels like I will be stuck being the one that takes care of everyone but themselves forever. I feel like I need the oppurtunity to prove that I can live my own life. But noone will let me. I feel so guilty for having these thoughts. All I can think of is what if something were to happen to my mom. I feel so so so guilty for wanting to start my own life. (I am going back to my doctor tomorrow to talk about the reoccurence of my depression. I have also never been to the point of wanting to hurt myself. My depression is mostly just extreme sadness, guilt, anxiety, fatigue, and insomnia. Probably a few other symptoms, I just can't remember them all right now.)

[HuxleysParadox]

Let me start off by saying, good for you! I can't offer alot of advice but I can say You must be some sort of wonderful person to be the recipient of all this trust and need. Overwhelming as it seems. I don't know your life story in detail but it sounds like you are doing the best you can. Just remember this place and blow off steam when you need to

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by stefi91

My depression is mostly just extreme sadness, guilt, anxiety, fatigue, and insomnia.

Just all that is enough!

Originally Posted by stefi91

...my dad had a pretty bad stroke about a month ago, followed by my best friend having a still born baby a week later. Then last week my mom got really sick. ...everything falls on me to take care of everyone.

I'm not surprised the depression has returned. Having battled depression for so long possibly reduced your personal stress-tolerance threshold.

It's cliché, but you can only take care of others so long before you'll have to take care of yourself.

Please make yourself at home, Stefi91.

[Mustkeepjob32]

You've had so many major negative events happen in your life recently. I would seriously consider going back on the meds. I know that getting "off" depression meds is supposed to be good thing, but I firmly believe that there's no rush in leaving the meds behind because if they help, then maybe you should take them longterm or at least for a couple, few years.