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#1
Jun 03, 2014, 08:06 AM
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I think a lot of us have had the "I feel more dead than alive" moments... I am not sure if I am stuck there or if I am just a freak....
Yesterday my shrink was getting on my case for me to rate my misery index (from 0-5). Honesty - WTF does that really mean? Am I "miserable"? No. Do I really care if I fall over dead? No - I would welcome it. I see NO point in living, but that does not mean I am miserable either. I am not sure if I feel ANYTHING. Anyone else? |
 Anonymous100305, Fuzzybear, Idiot17, JustTvTroping, kittydag18, Nammu, Pierro, regretful, Rohag, waterknob1234
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#2
Jun 03, 2014, 08:07 AM
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__________________
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| kittydag18
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#3
Jun 03, 2014, 10:04 AM
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Quote:
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
| kittydag18
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#4
Jun 03, 2014, 10:17 AM
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I'm not exacly miserable per se, but there is a certain kind of numbness that keeps nagging me. It's here one day, gone the next. It somewhat pops up randomly at times, but I guess that just means that something still needs to be taken care of.
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| kittydag18
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#5
Jun 03, 2014, 11:32 AM
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My depression comes in waves. I'll feel really really bad for a couple of days. Like so bad it feels like real physical pain sometimes. After a couple of days of this and crying and crying, I have a day of numbness. Not really better, but just nothing. It's like my body is just so exhausted from the process it can't feel anything. It reminds me of a child who cries and then needs a nap. I think sometimes it just wears people out until they can't feel anything anymore. Just all used up.
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| kittydag18
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#6
Jun 03, 2014, 11:43 AM
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Sometimes I'm miserable, sometimes I'm numb.
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| Anonymous100108, kittydag18
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#7
Jun 03, 2014, 12:04 PM
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Yesterday I felt nothing...today, it's sadness and tears. Depression sucks the life out of me. I wasn't always this way...
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| Anonymous100108, kittydag18
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#8
Jun 03, 2014, 12:21 PM
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Quote:
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| Anonymous100108, kittydag18
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#9
Jun 03, 2014, 12:23 PM
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Quote:
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| kittydag18
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#10
Jun 03, 2014, 12:37 PM
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When things got really bad for me I felt numb for months on end. I would hope I wouldnt wake up the next day and when I did I would try to cry. Being numb is dangerous, you dont care if you die.....
Best wishes to you, Useless Me. I wish I had words of wisdom or comfort for you because I sure would give them to you. You can pm me anytime.
__________________
"The two most important days in your life are the day you were born.... and the day you find out why" ~ Mark Twain |
| kittydag18
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#11
Jun 03, 2014, 01:42 PM
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Funny you should say that. I go from rare happy times, to a lot of depression, and lately there has been this emptiness. Odd.
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| Anonymous100108, kittydag18
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#12
Jun 03, 2014, 05:38 PM
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Hi UM, well if he's trying to rate your depression the good news is you're going to have a lot more "rate your........" indexes, hey? Keep you busy if nothing else?
 Lots of things that can tie in with depression sometimes, aren't there, like the apathy/detachment (???) you're feeling, anxiety, hopelessness, "heaviness", feeling of complete exhaustion.........? But, no don't have to be stuck there either. It may not easily lift (**** we know it doesn't!!), it may feel like you're there forever and nothing can/is going to change, it may feel like you're powerless under it all (and I'm so not trivializing those feelings, I know they can be so hard)...........but some real support, time..........and the strength I know you have can make a difference. There can be a light at the end of the tunnel even if you're finding it hard to see/believe it, right now. But just know, we're with you/here for you on this........one day at a time....... Alison
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| kittydag18
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#13
Jun 03, 2014, 06:03 PM
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I feel so stuck at the moment, the last three times I had to do those rating tests I scored 27/27. No change, just stuck at the worst it can be. I relate to the feeling more dead than alive, I have become more and more convinced that I am really dead and this is hell. I can't escape, it is for eternity, I desperately want to know why I ended up in hell but I guess it is part of the eternal punishment that I don't know, I'll never know.
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| Anonymous100108, kittydag18
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#14
Jun 03, 2014, 06:17 PM
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 Feeling... Wanting... Engagement... All those capacities have been in a state of dysfunction for years. ((((((( UM )))))))
__________________
My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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| kittydag18
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#15
Jun 03, 2014, 06:44 PM
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Sometimes I feel miserable, sad, stressed, anxious. But sometimes I just feel numb too. I'm not necessarily depressed but wouldn't care if I died either. All I can say is I know how you feel.
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| Anonymous100108, kittydag18
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#16
Jun 03, 2014, 07:01 PM
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I've been feeling empty for the past few weeks at least. I don't care what happens to me, I don't care what happens to anyone else, and I most certainly don't want to do anything.
__________________
 Feel free to visit my new blog http://www.daniellesnewblog.comI've not yet found a diamond. |
| Anonymous100108
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#17
Jun 03, 2014, 07:28 PM
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Quote:
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| Anonymous100108
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#18
Jun 04, 2014, 07:16 AM
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Quote:
exactly!! |
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#19
Jun 04, 2014, 08:39 AM
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I have wondered, UM, how a person can feel empty. I am so used to the usual depression and misery; and the rare but delightful joy.....it seems odd to feel nothing~empty. Just thinking out loud.
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#20
Jun 04, 2014, 09:29 AM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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