[noonehearsmecry]

I have suffered from depression for the past 2 years and in the last 3 months I have been put on medication that has been working for me.

But I feel like part of me is now gone. Now that my depression is so much better I feel like I'm missing something. I don't know who I am anymore because my life used to revolve around my depression. I'd give anything to go back to being so deep in my depression because whenever I feel depressed I feel normal again. My depression is comforting...

Has anyone else experienced this?

[TheOriginalMe]

Glad the meds are working for you. I can understand the feeling that something is missing from your life but I'm not sure I'd say that I find depression comforting, familiar certainly, comforting no. I am afraid of happiness, I expect that it will fail me and let me down. I believe there is a level of safety in depression that I'll never know with happiness, are any of these feelings familiar to you?

you can have mine if you want...............

[regretful]

I find nothing comforting in depression; it is an unwelcome guest in my life, found a way to burrow into my consciousness, and sits deeply within me...Like useless me, you can have mine, too...

[ToeJam]

Got to admit UM did make me smile.
Depression is a weird thing to have… there are times when ‘part of it’ does seem comforting, but that is often when the fight is worn out of me… and as depression at it’s worse for me is of a numb dream like state, it kind of wraps me up.

There were times I reminiced when I guess I was ‘better’ or at least on the upswing that those times were nice… the dreamy state was pleasant.

Case of rose tinted glasses though… tend to forget all of the crap that comes with it and certainly the impact it has on my ability to function as well as the impact it has on those around me.

[badcloud]

Oh my gosh. Like others, I would be HAPPY to bestow all of my depression on someone else. Oh no, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

[monkeybruv]

I feel better but not sure if this is as good as it gets. At least when I felt bad I cared about not feeling alive. Now the pain is nearly gone but I only feel indifference and life seems vaguely interesting but unimportant. I sometimes feel like feeling better is 'accepting' the emptiness and pointlessness and feel disappointed in myself.

[nija43]

I'd give anything to go back to being so deep in my depression because whenever I feel depressed I feel normal again. My depression is comforting...

Has anyone else experienced this?

Absolutely. Yes, I experience the same feeling.

I once told my therapist that if I was no longer depressed, it would feel like I had lost a friend because Depression and I have been together for so many years.

As I get older, it's getting more difficult to remember how I used to feel without depression in my life.

[waterknob1234]

I am glad your medication is working. I would not want to give you my depression because I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

[stanislavski]

My guess is that the medication is not working as intended. Yearning for depression IS depression. It's obviously a different *kind* of depression, you're probably not brooding and your anxiety is lessened. Nevertheless, my hunch is that another type of med might help you get to a point where you'd feel relieved not to have the black dogs of depression nipping at your heels

[depressedalaskan]

I miss what depression has taken from me. I would never miss depression.

No, I have not experienced this. I loathe the depression I'm in and am NOT comfortable with/in it whatsoever. For what it's worth, I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope you can find some joy with it.

[Altered Moment]

I have lived with it my whole life. I have been forced to make friends with it. That turned out to be an easier course than fighting a useless battle. I don't miss it when it's gone but I am comfortable with it often. It is the shame that goes with it that makes it uncomfortable for me. If I accept that is just how I am at the time it makes it easier. I can understand how you feel but I don't miss it when it's gone.

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Originally Posted by noonehearsmecry

I have suffered from depression for the past 2 years and in the last 3 months I have been put on medication that has been working for me.

But I feel like part of me is now gone. Now that my depression is so much better I feel like I'm missing something. I don't know who I am anymore because my life used to revolve around my depression. I'd give anything to go back to being so deep in my depression because whenever I feel depressed I feel normal again. My depression is comforting...

Has anyone else experienced this?

Something similar. When I'm feeling slight depression I feel like it's what I should feel living in this world. I don't find it comforting though. Does your depression allow you to take special liberties or avoid things? Serious question and not being judgmental. I believe we should all be aware that it can be a crutch.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Yeah, you can also have mine. Seriously... I'll make you a deal... you can have it totally FREE. Yes, that's FREE! No extra charge for any bits of OCD attached. I can send it to you in the post. Let me know if you're interested.

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

I have lived with it my whole life. I have been forced to make friends with it. That turned out to be an easier course than fighting a useless battle. I don't miss it when it's gone but I am comfortable with it often. It is the shame that goes with it that makes it uncomfortable for me. If I accept that is just how I am at the time it makes it easier. I can understand how you feel but I don't miss it when it's gone.

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You hit the nail on the head, zinco. I have a lot of shame about my depression. Not necessarily ashamed to tell other people that I have it, but an inner self-loathing. Like I fall short of what I should be.

[debramorgan42]

I used to feel like that.... I even painted a picture about it called "pain" for it was horrible and painful... yet somehow sweet and friendly. it was familiar... I knew i very well...
but now it is just too unbearable when I know I could be happy.... or atleast I could try NEW things.... there are so many wonderful things, I want to be present...
um I don't know if it helps or anything.