[newbie33]

Hey its my first time on this and i'm trying to be proactive and look for help or get support from people other than my friends.

sorry but I just to open up. I just got out of a 7 year relationship! we were high school sweethearts. we had everything going for us! we had a beautiful apartment I have an awesome job enough to were my significant other didn't work as much. last year we got engaged and was blessed with a baby girl! recently we even officially started planning our wedding! well in april we just all of a sudden started arguing for the most stupidest things and I was would get mad then she would get mad at me and just wasn't the same! it was to the point on my bday we split up. I left her the apt so she can stay there with my daughter. I really don't want her to leave. I left hoping things would work out but we manage to still fight about everything. I moved back in and slept in the other room. while we were living together we were still separated. no kiss or hug or any sexual things! finally after everything she told me shes moving out and I came home and she did! her clothes was gone
Im stll young but I really don't know how to handle all this! I seriously went crazy never thinking this would happen! we were that "it" couple with our family! we were the one to plan family events. its been 3 plus weeks since shes moved out and I don't eat, im real separated from family and friends, im miserable and I even lost weight! I hate coming home to an empty apt in which we both build ourselves and called it our home.
I guess im trying to say is im not sure were to start! what to do. I only want her. and to this day we do talk and she tells me she loves me and misses me but she still hasn't moved back in!

sorry just had to let it out and it kinda felt good! :/

sorry for my horrible spelling...

[Travelinglady]

Hey, newbie33, and welcome to Psych Central! Have you suggested joint counseling to her? If not, then I suggest you do. If she doesn't want to, then you might go yourself.

But, although I know she is the mother of your child, I don't think you should just put your life on hold unless she agrees that this separation is a trial one--and that she might return before too long. And then I suggest you two agree on how long to stay separated. I wouldn't make it over a couple of months, since as I say, you are putting your life on hold.

Plus, you two were in a close relationship very early in your lives, and people do change a lot during that time.

My opinion, anyway.

[pegasus]

Hello newbie33, welcome to Psych Central.

Communication is the answer, we can't tell you what to do. It sounds like you are separating but you can still keep a good relationship for your daughter. You could try asking about this and sharing more in the Relationships & Communication forum. If you feel you are depressed, please go and see your doctor.

[Altered Moment]

Welcome to psyche central.

I believe relationships evolve in stages. The honeymoon stage is the easiest and funnest. Once that is over it starts taking work. Communication skills, overcoming fear of commitment, fear of abandonment, fear of intimacy and so on. For some people it is too big a hurdle. It takes two willing people to do the work and grow together. I would say you have to figure out if she is willing or not. If she is not there is nothing you can do.

I have been through that wringer before a few times. I got dumped and couldn't stop thinking about her and getting back together, couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. It triggered a lot of issues for me. Eventually it did get better and I did get over it but it was a lot of pain. I hope for you she decides she is willing but it is up to her.