[Whoaminoone]

Yesterday was an especially bad day. I even broke down and called a crisis hotline...only to be on hold for almost 10 minutes before just hanging up. I read through all the "wait 24 hours before following through on impulse", obviously, I took that advice or I would not be on here now. Really, I only took it because I did not want my kids to be the ones to find me. I at least had enough wits about me to spare them that. Today....not really feeling any better, and definitely still having urges, but I have no place to send my kids so I'm attempting to hold it together for awhile longer. That's getting harder and harder each day though.

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much right now. And I can sort of relate on the no-help from the help line..... clearly the number of mental health therapists is severely lacking all over this country.

I live in a medium sized city where I believe our medical care is better than most communities. I hate to even think how bad it must be in a New York, Chicago or Detroit.

[Flummixed]

I know how you feel. If it wasn't for my family I would've given up long ago and checked myself out. Somedays I am resentful of them because of that but most days I feel saved because they're there. I just got over a year long phase of thinking of nothing but death, sickness, horribly ways to die etc. I was almost at the end of my rope but my doctor got me on a different medication and it's helping a lot. I hope you can find something to help you as well.

Originally Posted by Whoaminoone

Yesterday was an especially bad day. I even broke down and called a crisis hotline...only to be on hold for almost 10 minutes before just hanging up. I read through all the "wait 24 hours before following through on impulse", obviously, I took that advice or I would not be on here now. Really, I only took it because I did not want my kids to be the ones to find me. I at least had enough wits about me to spare them that. Today....not really feeling any better, and definitely still having urges, but I have no place to send my kids so I'm attempting to hold it together for awhile longer. That's getting harder and harder each day though.

Given how badly you are feeling, Whoaminoone, I wonder if you perhaps should be seeing your doctor or even going to the emergency room? My experience tells me, when you get to the point it sounds like you're at, it doesn't disappear by itself & you can only hold out for so long. Please reach out to someone before you can't hold on any longer!