[az_tc91]

so I have been going through an ocean of emotions but the majority of it is severe depression. I started feeling better after landing a high profile job and will be starting soon. financial problems have been the source of my depression and thought this job offer would fix everything, but it hasn't. in the midst of it all my parents, whom are divorced, have been supporting me financially and emotionally so much that I feel I've damaged the relationship I have with my mom and dad. my father had to come to the decision to sell his boat to help me with therapy but it isn't working. all my doctor does is write prescription after prescription and completely alter my personality. I also went out with the small amount of friends that I have and one thing led to another, after several drinks while on my meds, I ended up breaking down and now no one will speak to me bc I'm the depressed **** show. my mom bought me a brand new car but I have yet driven it more than 30 miles bc I have no social life. the main thing im beating myself up over is that my parents seem like they are willing to help but everyday they remind me how much they've spent on me so I should be happy by now. and yet they never ask how I'm truly feeling. I think I'd rather be in a single bedroom apartment away from my family just to clear my head. I just feel like no matter what I do I am just a burden.

[gma45]

I think things will get better but you have to give them some time. No more drinking on meds A? Sounds like your parents think that happiness can be bought. I don't know maybe it can for some. It never worked for me and my depression. I suggest getting a few pay checks under your belt then think about an apartment. It takes time to re-group maybe find a new Doctor also. Small steps don't rush things. You can get more friends that will like you for you and stand by you no matter what. Things will work out in time be patient.

[Blitter2014]

You dont have to win today, you just need to keep fighting today.

Depression for you, ad you see and feel it, is different to what other people such as your parents may see. Most of the time we look in a mirror and only see our face n hair. Yet we often forget or even cannot see the rest of us if not full lenght mirror.

My point is you see live feel and know depression. Its what faces you every day, and that is probably all you can cope with. Your parents may see more....your needs for a car for new job, your need to get well- hence funding therapy. unless they have experienced depression they are not going to understand, and its unrealistic to think they would. It sounds like in practical ways they are trying to fix something they don't understand how to fix.....and their frustrated loving efforts make you feel guilty because you know its not the material side of thing thats the problem.

Be patient with them. It sounds like they're trying to be supporting, allbeit in ways you don't really need yet. But don't beat yourself up because they dont get it and you cant fix it or snap to it...your all working together just from different angles.

You will get there, and hopefully they can continue to be part of that support network you need. In the meantime help yourself as much as you can by baby steps, small ecpectations often, and staying on meds, off alcohol etc.

Life will and does go on. It will get better.plz keep posting here. You'll find a lot of people who want to be supportive and will offer good advice.

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[waterknob1234]

Depression is a mean force to deal with. I think people who have never dealt with it do not understand what it is like. Meds don't always help either. Hang in there. Maybe find a new doc. I understand depression becomes a battle and you can't just "look on the bright side an make yourself happy. Best of wishes to you.

[Fuzzybear]

[Blitter2014]

Minnion crowd hug

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Depression sucks and unless a person has dealt with it personally--they cannot understand. I know depression first hand and she is horrible! Just keep pushing through.