I'm worn down & worn out. I got up this morning & wondered how long my legs would carry me. I took my morning shower, shaved & did all of that stuff. Then I took the dog for his morning walk. But it all just felt like a monumental task. I wondered how long I could keep going.

I don't really feel as though I'm any more depressed than usual. I always have this low-grade cloud of depression surrounding me, with suicidal thoughts lurking about in the background. I spend too much time telling myself I wish I would just die. But those thoughts & feelings are always with me. This feeling of being absolutely drained of any energy at all is sort-of new. I mean to say, I never have allot of energy. But I'm also not used to feeling like a wet dish towel either.

I've begun thinking perhaps I should go in to see a doctor. (One other than my pdoc.) On YouTube, I subscribe to a channel named: "Bignoknow". The uploader on this channel: Noah Thomas, is a young man who has low testosterone, along with depression, anxiety, etc. (It's a great channel. Check it out!) Anyway, being that I'm in my 6th decade, it has occurred to me that I could well have low testosterone too. Perhaps I should get it checked.

But wait! There's a problem. I'm an old non-transitioned tranny. The last thing in the world I would want to do is receive testosterone therapy! OMG! So anyway, I don't know what to do. And I don't have a T any more to discuss it with; not that this would make any difference anyway. So I thought I would post my problem here in the Depression Forum on PC. After all, maybe I am just depressed & feeling like a wet dish towel is just the result of that. I don't know. I guess the good thing here is that I am now retirement age & I live in a townhome complex. So, other than walking the dog, there's not much I have to do, other than reply to posts here on PC & watch YouTube videos.

[kaliope]

it doesnt hurt to go to a doctor to see if there is something medically wrong. if it does turn out to be low t, at least you have the answer. it doesnt mean you have to do anything about it. you will know it is not depression causing it.

[waterknob1234]

Hi Skeezyks. I agree with kaliope. I would start with a medical doctor to see if there is a medical reason for the fatigue. It may be treatable if you want to treat it. Doing anything is a monumental effort to me but I think my exhaustion goes along with my depression. I hope you get some answers. You are always so nice and helpful to me and everybody else on pc

[TheOriginalMe]

Get checked out by a doc, could be something simple like anaemia, especially if you've not been eating well.

My advice is to steer clear of hormones, my experience is that hormones and depression are a toxic combination. I'm supposed to be taking a hormone right now but along with the androgenic effects (hirsutism, acne, deep voice) the paranoia was awful, so I decided to swerve it. On the plus side, my over plucked eyebrows have now grown back and I had them professionally shaped, but even nice brows aren't worth the side effects.

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

I'm worn down & worn out. I got up this morning & wondered how long my legs would carry me. I took my morning shower, shaved & did all of that stuff. Then I took the dog for his morning walk. But it all just felt like a monumental task. I wondered how long I could keep going.

I don't really feel as though I'm any more depressed than usual. I always have this low-grade cloud of depression surrounding me, with suicidal thoughts lurking about in the background. I spend too much time telling myself I wish I would just die. But those thoughts & feelings are always with me. This feeling of being absolutely drained of any energy at all is sort-of new. I mean to say, I never have allot of energy. But I'm also not used to feeling like a wet dish towel either.

I've begun thinking perhaps I should go in to see a doctor. (One other than my pdoc.) On YouTube, I subscribe to a channel named: "Bignoknow". The uploader on this channel: Noah Thomas, is a young man who has low testosterone, along with depression, anxiety, etc. (It's a great channel. Check it out!) Anyway, being that I'm in my 6th decade, it has occurred to me that I could well have low testosterone too. Perhaps I should get it checked.

But wait! There's a problem. I'm an old non-transitioned tranny. The last thing in the world I would want to do is receive testosterone therapy! OMG! So anyway, I don't know what to do. And I don't have a T any more to discuss it with; not that this would make any difference anyway. So I thought I would post my problem here in the Depression Forum on PC. After all, maybe I am just depressed & feeling like a wet dish towel is just the result of that. I don't know. I guess the good thing here is that I am now retirement age & I live in a townhome complex. So, other than walking the dog, there's not much I have to do, other than reply to posts here on PC & watch YouTube videos.

Hey S,
I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I would imagine that hormone thing is a little tricky to navigate. I live in PORTLANDIA, I can't recall where you live...sorry. We have a lot of "integrative" docs here who are excellent with medical issues, mental health issues, LGBDQ, the works. Just a thought. I don't know if that is a possibility for you.

Please don't get sad because of your age. You've got a lot of years in front of you. I've known many people who get mentally healthier well into their sixties and their golden years.

Peace.

[HuxleysParadox]

You could have cronic fatigue syndrom. I agree with not messing with hormone replacement therapy and depression. It's one of those "works for some but not for all" things and with you being transgendered it will mess with your emotional balance.. Study all options

[HuxleysParadox]

*chronic.. dernit...

[Altered Moment]

I would also say get checked out by a medical doc. Maybe it is thyroid. At 50 I am sure I am low T but I don't think I would take testosterone anyway. At my mental health clinic it is mandatory that i have a medical doc and stay up on physical problems. They just put me on Zocor......yet another damn med. I thought long and hard about it and figured it was best i take it.

[Fuzzybear]

[gayleggg]

I'm worn down & worn out. I got up this morning & wondered how long my legs would carry me. I took my morning shower, shaved & did all of that stuff. Then I took the dog for his morning walk. But it all just felt like a monumental task. I wondered how long I could keep going.

I don't really feel as though I'm any more depressed than usual. I always have this low-grade cloud of depression surrounding me, with suicidal thoughts lurking about in the background. I spend too much time telling myself I wish I would just die. But those thoughts & feelings are always with me

I could have written this. So I sympthize. I, also, woud get a check up. It could be a simple as a vitamin defiency. I'm worn out like you. I don't know how I manage to get to work everyday. Thank goodness it's and easy job. I'm pretty sure my fatigue is caused by my medications. I've been like this especially since they put me on a blood thinner. I work, come home and hit the couch until bedtime.

I am a woman and don't have the issues of being transgender. I did take hormone replacement therapy and it really helped, but when I had breast cancer they took me off of it. Of course, I was already so tired from chemo I didn't notice.

Maybe getting out and walking more would help, but if you're like me it's just more than you can handle right now. Getting older is not any fun, is it.

Hope your feel better soon.

[BlueMoonBlueEarth]

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

I'm worn down & worn out.

Me too. I feel the same way right now. I have little to no energy left. I've spent much of today in bed, listening to videos on YouTube about depression. Feeling so tired, so helpless, so alone. I've spent some minutes now browsing through this Depression Forum, trying to think of something to say and failing miserably. My mind goes blank just when I need it most.

PsychCentral forums is a place where people with depression can find compassion and understanding, which helps heal the mental wounds ever so slightly. But depression is always still there, waiting to strike and leave us feeling empty again. Still, I hope PsychCentral keeps us going in the long run. Sorry, I'm rambling now.