[Kabuto]

Hi all,

About a year ago, I made the rash decision to stop taking my anti depression medication. I was road tripping around the country after college, feeling strangely empowered, absurdly arrogant, and thus, I decided to stop taking the medicine. My reasons were simple- I was never fully peachy even on the anti depressant medicine, and I believed I no longer needed it because of my sleeping disorder getting discovered. I believed my depression was a misdiagnosis for the sleep apnea.

This was fine for about 4/5 months, I didn't have a decrease in mood at all. In fact, I would say that my mood was better than ever.

It was only when I moved back in with my parents that I started to get really depressed again. It's been really strange since then, and I've been unemployed for about seven months. I've learned a lot since that time: how to admit vulnerability, how to be humble, how to feel authentic love, how to really follow my dreams.

But overall? I've felt depressed about 50% of the time, even if I didn't want to admit it. I was depressed for almost the entire winter at the start of it, which I simply attributed to seasonal affective disorder. Plus, I was really sorting out my thoughts during that time, and struggling a lot with what I wanted.

Ever since then? I've been feeling good, really decent, but just frustrated with my lack of job prospects. I felt like I was on the road to recovery ever since March.

But only now am I starting to get depressed again, and that's what scares me. I have a wonderful job opportunity in the fall, and I'm too scared to even want to do it because it requires relocation. But everyone else believes that not doing it would be the most foolish thing I can do. Even I believe that...to a degree. :/. Please help!

[Altered Moment]

Maybe with a job and structure or a set structure of any kind that would keep you out of the depression. That works for my daughter who has my genes. Whenever she has nothing to do she starts slipping. When she has school and work she is very happy.

Unforntunely that doesn't really work for me. I can be working full time and very satisfied with my work and still get slammed with depression. Sounds to me you have moderate and structure may be just what you need to keep you in a good place.

[glok]

Hello, Kabuto. Did the medications you were taking help you get to a better place? Do you think talking to your psychiatrist about some help before you have to move would be a plus? The psychiatrist might even be able to refer you to a qualified professional in your new location. Moving and a new job can be a quite stressful combination.

Good luck.

[Kabuto]

The job can definitely save me from a lot of depression! Though I also fear about what will happen if depression sinks in while I'm working. I don't think it'll happen, but you never know, being away from family and all.

It's hard to say with the meds. I will say overall that I might have been happier with them. But also, I was never unemployed for so long. So it's possible that the medication didn't improve my mental state. Never before do I feel more aware of who I am, this is being off the medicine.