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#1
Jan 03, 2015, 09:16 PM
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I was in the hospital 3 times in March and May 2013. It's been like a year or two now, but lately I've been having such bad anxiety and depression that I just want to go back to make sure I don't do anything stupid. This morning I got super upset because I had this awesome breakfast planned and when I got to making the eggs, they were one brand of eggs in the wrong box, so to me it was deemed that the eggs were bad and I couldn't eat them, this my breakfast ruined. I was blubbering in tears like a little baby, and I was alone. I went in my room and like "stabbed" the office chair with my phone and shoved the chair into a bookshelf and nightstand, causing the lamp to tip over and everything. My heart was pounding and I thought I was going crazy. I was crying because I can't take the worry and anxiety anymore.
I was prescribed Buspirone like a year ago, but still haven't taken it. I'm worried about the possible side affects and don't think I'll be able to bring myself to take it unless I'm in the hospital for about a week. Is it normal to want to go back? What should I do? I'm not brave enough to take this medication on my own and I've got school and college on the line here. Please and thank you in advance. |
 Anonymous37914, AstridLovelight, Fuzzybear, gayleggg, PunkyMonkey730
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#2
Jan 03, 2015, 09:33 PM
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It's perfectly ok to want to go back! And from what you describe it sounds like a good idea to me, as well as sounding like what you really want to do.
Take care of yourself and let us know how you're doing!
__________________
In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there was, within me, an invincible smile. In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm. --Albert Camus |
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#3
Jan 03, 2015, 10:06 PM
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Your sure? And thanks... I'll try to let you guys know how things are going. I told myself it's either I wait until school is over to try this medication or go into the hospital and try it. But I would feel so much safer doing it in the hospital... I'm just so scared about side effects. Thanks again.
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| AstridLovelight
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 AstridLovelight
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#4
Jan 03, 2015, 10:11 PM
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Quote:
We could speculate endlessly about the potential effects of taking Buspirone. Ultimately it may require a controlled experiment. Can you talk with your doctor or anyone at the school and develop a plan?
__________________
My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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#5
Jan 04, 2015, 02:10 AM
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Yes, it is perfectly normal to want to go back and be in a safe place. After all, you are wondering about potential side effects of your medication. Beside reiterating what Rohag has told you about dealing with this in a more connected way with your school and doctor in order for your treatment and progress in school be able to walk together or at least, not get in the way of the other for too long.
Again, it is normal to want to go back. That decision is yours, I will say, but I will ask you to think about it a tad longer and with your doctor's input and further consideration from yourself so that you can make a forthright and good decision in your life. I wish you well. |
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#6
Jan 04, 2015, 09:01 AM
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It's perfectly normal to want to go back to somewhere where you feel safe and taken care of.
Whether or not it's the right choice, only you and your doctor can tell. What self-care methods have you been using? It's really important for you to try self-care to learn to trust yourself to take care of yourself and to work through things - if you've gone and done everything you can and still think you're not safe, then it's definitely a good call to go to the hospital. Is there anyone at college with you that you could trust to keep on eye on things with you to try taking the med? Do you speak to a counsellor? They would be able to help you come up with a plan.
__________________
"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
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#7
Jan 04, 2015, 09:47 AM
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I think it is normal to want to go to the hospital to take a break, feel safe, and be taken care of. Whether it is necessary is a different question. It is perfectly rational to be afraid of the side effects of a medication but I don't know that it is necessary to go inpatient to monitor that. I sometimes want to go inpatient but I don't see it as a possibility unless I was very seriously suicidal. It is extremely expensive to go inpatient and I don't think an insurance company would pay for it unless a doctor thought it was necessary.
To me the important question is to examine how rational your reaction to the egg thing was. Having the wrong brand of eggs caused an anxiety attack and an angry outburst. I don't think at all this is your fault, you can't help it, but is it rational? I am suggesting that working on changing your thinking about events that trigger you may be more beneficial. Like learning CBT with a therapist may work better than meds or in combination with meds might be the best. It is not easy and takes time but if you can change how you think about events that trigger reactions you can change the feelings and reactions. It is worth an honest effort in my opinion. Like does the fact that the eggs were a different brand really mean they were bad? The more you practice CBT the more you can become aware of and intervene in that process that is going on to cause the reaction.
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
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#8
Jan 04, 2015, 12:32 PM
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Medications are always a risk, but I figure the risk is worth it. I'd rather take risks/be a little dizzy/have no appetite/whatever than be angry/sad/suicidal.
"No great risk, no great reward"
__________________
I didn't even have to use my AK, today was a good day! |
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