[Sanzio]

I'm 21 years old male. Since last year I have been depressed, quit my studies, sleeping 10~14 hours a day, stopped doing most of the things that I enjoyed doing.

Now I guess I know some of the reasons of my depression. In all my 21 years of life, I am lonely. Never had close friends, girlfriend, I feel lonely even in my house with my family. Actually I don't remember have never been hugged or kissed, by friends or family. For being an introvert, this loneliness never caught my attention, but now I realize that it may have been very negative for my life.

I can't get intimate to people, physically and emotionally. I do have some friends (actually just two, my sister and a childhood friend), but I don't like talking with them too much. Can't say if I'm like this or the lack of affection made me like this.

[glok]

Hello, Sanzio. Is professional help an option for you?

[Sanzio]

No. Went once, did not liked. Even writing here in the forums is kinda difficult for me, too personal to share.

[TheOriginalMe]

Originally Posted by Sanzio

No. Went once, did not liked. Even writing here in the forums is kinda difficult for me, too personal to share.

Hi Sanzio, you did well to post a little bit about yourself, that took courage. Hopefully you will find that posting about yourself becomes easier over time. Even being here and reading other people's posts can be helpful as you will see that too many people are lonely and find it difficult to open up.

Your problems with intimacy certainly won't have been helped by your family starving you of affection as a child, but as you rightly point out your nature too has a part to play. Trying to work out how much is nurture and how much is nature is something that really does need professional help. I hope that you can think about trying again with a different therapist. Finding the right therapist can be tricky, and you might have to try several before you find one that you feel comfortable with.

[Sanzio]

lol

Just to be clear. I did not fall alone. I feel lonely.

[randomrants32]

Hey Sanzio. I think I know what you are feeling. But we may have different reasons behind it. I feel alone because i feel like there's something very different about my personality. I know people feel awkward with me, but they are just trying to pretend like it's all normal and ok. Hence, i feel like I'm all alone despite being social and engaging with other people. I wish i have an enlightening advice for you, but i don't. I just want you to know that there are others who feel somewhat similar to what you're feeling.

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[Sanzio]

randomrants,

Already felt like you sometimes, when trying to be more social. It is like if the other people were just tolerating my presence. Even when I'm among people with common interests, I feel like I don't belong to the group, that I think too diferent from the others. I also think that my personality may look different to others.

[Black_Raynebow23]

Hello Sanzio, I can relate to everything you've said, lol! I've never had any close friends, dated anyone, & I'm not close with my family. I have a really hard time opening up to people about personal stuff too. I understand you finding it difficult to post here, I do as well, don't do well socially either, I have really bad social anxiety & also feel like I'm too weird for people, I often think people are just tolerating me. I think I annoy everyone, lol! So, I just wanted you to know you're not alone!