[EglantineRose]

I deal with depression and an anxiety disorder(s). I have not been happy with my life in many years, but since starting an antidepressant (Cipralex) i've become more aware of this. For a long time I was
so focused on my depression and all of the fears that I have had that not only did this keep me from doing more with my life, but I didn't even care about anything else but the depression and anxiety. I still deal with an
"empty" feeling of depression and anxiety that seems more like OCD (I don't really worry about daily life anymore, I don't feel anxious about the future or about doing things) with more intrusive thoughts and other
OCD syptoms. I have not had friends in many years, and have not done anything in years that I enjoy either. Right now I don't have much going on with my life except volunteering once a week (I am starting college
in August, which I am looking forward to, but it's still a few months away). Recently I applied for some jobs (I have not recieved any calls back yet) but now i'm unsure of whether or not I should find work right now, or if I should continue to focus on my emotional (and physical) health for a while before I do that. I still deal with quite a bit of anxiety/depression and my physical health is not very good (i'm constantly tired and I need to quit smoking cigarettes badly). Although I am bored with my life and want to do more with it, at the same time I still feel indifferent about it. Does anyone else with depression feel this way, or can anyone offer any suggestions? Thanks.

[glok]

Hello, EglantineRose. The question you pose is one you must answer. If you want a more meaningful life, you must identify what you want in your life that would give it more purpose and meaning.

This article may be of benefit in that regard:

Dimensions of Wellness

[EglantineRose]

Hi glok, thanks for the advice. Meaning and purpose in life are something that I have been questioning for years. I find the volunteering I do meaningful, but nothing else aside from that. I also struggle with the fact that nothing makes me happy, at all. I can only really feel like i'm going through the motions, which doesn't make life very meaningful.

[GoodnightNicolae]

I can relate to this, it's like I try to find a reason why I should be unhappy/ disappointed with everything.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by EglantineRose

I also struggle with the fact that nothing makes me happy, at all.

This sounds like classic depression. The boredom may be a diminished capacity to be interested and engaged in life.

August will arrive quickly. College will probably force issues to surface. Later this you will have a better idea of what you are facing. What services does your college offer to people suffering from depression/those taking antidepressant medications?

Originally Posted by EglantineRose

I deal with depression and an anxiety disorder(s). I have not been happy with my life in many years, but since starting an antidepressant (Cipralex) i've become more aware of this. For a long time I was
so focused on my depression and all of the fears that I have had that not only did this keep me from doing more with my life, but I didn't even care about anything else but the depression and anxiety. I still deal with an
"empty" feeling of depression and anxiety that seems more like OCD (I don't really worry about daily life anymore, I don't feel anxious about the future or about doing things) with more intrusive thoughts and other
OCD syptoms. I have not had friends in many years, and have not done anything in years that I enjoy either. Right now I don't have much going on with my life except volunteering once a week (I am starting college
in August, which I am looking forward to, but it's still a few months away). Recently I applied for some jobs (I have not recieved any calls back yet) but now i'm unsure of whether or not I should find work right now, or if I should continue to focus on my emotional (and physical) health for a while before I do that. I still deal with quite a bit of anxiety/depression and my physical health is not very good (i'm constantly tired and I need to quit smoking cigarettes badly). Although I am bored with my life and want to do more with it, at the same time I still feel indifferent about it. Does anyone else with depression feel this way, or can anyone offer any suggestions? Thanks.

Know the feeling very well. You have all my hugs and support .

[EglantineRose]

Thank you all for the advice and encouragement.

Rohag, my college has a 'disability' centre that offers assistance to students with various disabilities. I have never used this because my problems don't affect me as much academically as in other ways.

Yes, it is a very unpleasant way to feel. It doesn't really matter how much I do, everything still doesn't seem very good.