Not good enough

I've always felt like I'm not good enough. It's an idea that was passed down from my mother to me. Tonight it is especially bad. I wish I could go live on a deserted island somewhere with my dogs. :-(

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hello, gloamingone. You have choices. One might be to stop allowing your mother to define you.

Easier said than done, considering I've been working on this for about 25 years with therapists. Some days it's worse than others, of course, like today. After the hefty rejection last night when my boyfriend admitted he never intends to marry me, it's hard not to hear my mother's voice telling me I'm not good enough.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I can really identify with feeling worthless as the result of relationship issues. I remember my mother used to threaten to abandon us when I was young (sometimes even leaving for hours at a time) and I would say "It's all my fault."

I am sorry your boyfriend doesn't want what you want. I went through a similar situation recently with the girl I was dating.

I know it's easier said than done, but do try to step back and realize that the other person has a part in the course of the relationship that is entirely independent of your worth. That is, they have their own issues, fears, etc., that you cannot control via your actions. And you do not need to feel ashamed of your needs, i.e., "If I could just not want so much from this person they would love me." Well, then you're not really an individual at all, but an extension of the other person's needs.

There is someone out there who will want to marry you and that you will feel equally attracted to and at home with. Maybe I am also talking to myself here. Anyway, you're good enough.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way; that sounds like a lot of feelings to deal with