Would you rather know?

Would you rather know how long your depression will last?

There are several of us here who've been locked into long running episodes of depression and for me the longer the episode lasts, the harder it is to believe that I'll ever get better and the more I lose sight that I've ever been anything other than depressed.

So would I rather know that this episode was going to last 13 months, 18 months, 2 years, 5 years.....?

Yes, 13 months would be fine, because I've already been depressed for 12.5 months, so the thought that in 2 weeks I'll be OK would be the best news ever! If I thought I'd still got to get through another 6 months or a year then I think I'd be relieved because I'm more than half way there, but could I live with the knowledge that my depression would last (unremitting and at its current intensity) for another 4 years?

The loss of hope that I'll ever recover is a big feature for me right now, so knowing that I would recover albeit a long way down the line does seem like a better option than waking each morning and facing another grim day of uncertainty.

I would love to know when this will end. It'll be 11 grueling months on 7/4.

I've had depression my whole life...i wouldn't know what it feels like to be any different.

Hmmm is this a trick question? What if I found out it was 4 more years? ......yeah, I think I'd want to know cause I could mark the day on a calendar and start planing a life from that day forward. I could plan for the future, instead of having to cancel things all the time.

That's the hard thing. If you absolutely knew your depression would end at a certain time then you would have hope. But then again, if someone told me I would go on with the depression like I had for the past year for four more years I think I would go crazy. I have to keep the faith and hope that you and all of us will recover and have happier, meaningful lives. Hugs to you.

i think if i knew the end date, i'd feel like i could make it. right now i'm trapped in an endless black and since it's always been this way except for a brief 18 months when a med (not an antidepressant) worked i don't know any different. i had to come off it and when i was able to get back on it didn't work like it did. after tons and tons of antidepressants i'm not hopeful there's anything else to try.

if someone even said 'two more years' i'd bawl, but at least i'd know that i just have to make it two more years and i'll be okay. i just wish i knew if i'd ever get the chance i had before to know what semi-normal feels like

Yes, I would like to know when it will end. I often say to myself "when will it ever end?"

I would like to know if I get better so I know whether to bother sticking around...on the other hand maybe it's good to keep me trapped in this uncertainty so I struggle on and don't hurt those who care for me.

I can see the attraction of knowing this, but realistically, life will always bring some level of difficulty that we cannot predict - no matter what our MH issues - so the question I try to focus on is "Am I engaging in enough protective factors/healthy coping mechanisms to cope with the unpredictability of life?".

Thank you for replying, it would be great to have an end date, wouldn't it?

Right now I feel like I'm counting down days to when my sick pay ends, I've got rather fixated on the idea that when that happens I will somehow be forced into a recovery. If I'm still not better by then I'll have to make the decision as to whether to return to work whatever state I'm in or try to get my employer to medically retire me. I'm not yet 50 and while the prospect of working until I'm nearly 70 holds no attraction, I don't want to be "retired" either. Knowing that my depression would last more than a few more months would make that choice a bit clearer.

Question is more like, will it ever end? Versus when.

sorry you feel like this too. I'm terribly afraid that this will never end, which is why I was wondering whether certain knowledge of a recovery a long way into the future would be preferable to the agony of not knowing.

I think my MH will never end, I would have to cope with them for the rest of my life. I am fine with that because after 30 years of depression, panic attacks, bipolar depression, anxiety due to having all these Mental Illness I get to the conclusion that no matter what I am going to have to cope and cope and cope with its as part of my life.

So, I do know the answer to your question and I think it is a very good one TheOriginalMe. I am an optimistic person I don't say that will never end as a pessimistic being, I just know for all the fact by many good pdoc and T evaluations, that this is my reality and Yes, my reality sucks.

I can't change my diagnosis all I can do is cope every single day the best I can ...
I have the same problems as you about work, getting to the point that I can't even think realistically in working right now. We are survivors. Thank you for this Tread TOM, Hugs