[DogTired]

Two questions:
1) My new psychologist has framed depression as something people can sometimes hold on to. I suppose that's true in some cases, but she keeps asking me what benefits I get from my depression. When I sarcastically laughed and listed all the things I hate about it and then asked her what she meant, she said sometimes without realizing it people use depression as a way to keep being hard on themselves and there's something easier about that than being accepting of ourselves. Hmm. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Has anyone ever thought about it in those terms, or had their psychologist/therapist phrase it that way? It kind of makes me feel guilty (more self-punishment) for using it as a crutch to not really deal with whatever is going on in my life that I should be dealing with but don't really want to. Is depression an excuse?? I feel like I'm playing head games with this psychologist but...I guess that's her job...

2) I keep forgetting everything. EVERYTHING. And whenever I do remember something, my family doesn't always believe me because they know I'm not very reliable with remembering things lately. It's hard to be self-assured when you don't know what the heck is going on most of the time, because you can't remember what day it is or what you're supposed to be doing. And it's NOT like me to be that way. I'm the organized one. The planner. The one who knows what's going on every day (and what day it is). Even after starting a new med and feeling slightly less depressed I still forget stuff all the time and it's really frustrating. Is my memory and my organizational skills something I'll ever get back? Sure doesn't feel like it at the moment.

Thanks for any feedback.

[ChildlikeEmpress]

From my experience years ago, I do think I held on to depression -- it got to be familiar, a heavy blanket. Not that it was comforting, just familiar. I didn't know who I would be without it at the time, so that was scary. However, this time around that is not the case at all for me. I don't want to hang on to it at all, just want it to be gone and move on. So, I think it's different for everybody and can be something that is there sometimes and sometimes not. If you don't feel you are hanging on to it then you probably aren't, I would think.

As for the memory problems I can totally relate!!! I forget everything, lose things, etc. I think it's a symptom of our depression.