How do I respond?

This question is for those of you who are unable to work and are on disability or recieving money from someone to keep you alive.

It's been almost a year since I moved here to Edmonton and I still recieve money from my parents to pay rent and food costs because of depression I cannot hold a job. In this past year I have met hundreds of people at brothers and friends parties and through their churches and other social events that I manage to drag my but to. There is still one problem that I cannot figure out how to REALLY get past it. What do you say to the people "So what is your job?". Each time I figure out something, but is there any definite answer that I could use? How do you guys out there disguise it. I find it so hard because I can't just tell them straight "Hey I get money from my parents..." As I'm sure you can understand why. Please help me with something.

Thanks for your time.

i've been home from work because of my depression for 6 months now. Most people know what is going on with me though, so I don't face the dilemma you describe. Also for people who are not privy to what's going on, I have pretty bad arthritis so I can use that as a fallback option. In fact my time at work before I was hospitalized was very miserable because of the depression but everyone assumed it was because of my arthritis so they didn't even ask.

For the general public though I am sure it is none of their business. I know if I fill out a job application I will not put that down. I don't know if it is different in Canada but here it is illegal to employers, anyone for that matter, to get any information on my illness or treatment without my express approval. In the hospital I had a form to sign to list all the people who the doctors could let calls through. If anyone else called they are not even allowed to confirm or deny that I was in that hospital.

So you could just say you have been ill and leave it at that. It might be more difficult because the symptoms are not obvious. Are these people nosy? If you said you were currently unable to work because of illness would they pry further for info?

As another suggestion, were you working before the depression got so bad? If so if people ask "what you you do" you could say what you did at your job before and then add "but currenlty unemployed". I don't know if people are asking specifically "where are you working now" for smalltalk it is usually more like "what do you do?" and I would answer "I am a manager in the prepress industry, but currently not working" and that sort of bypasses the illness question. and if they ask more I just tell them more about the what prepress is and what i do.

Anyone who specifically wants to know where you get your money from is just rude in my opinion.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

Well. I think I didn't explain myself well enough but that is alright because you've cleared up on what I need to do.

In response to "Are these people nosy? If you said you were currently unable to work because of illness would they pry further for info?". People would ask "Oh why" and things like that. They would be generally curious.

As for the job application and the hospital we have the same thing here.
That is not the reason I can't work.

"Anyone who specifically wants to know where you get your money from is just rude in my opinion."

I agree. The thing is that by me saying "I am currently unemployed" they will ask how I am paying rent and for food and stuff. I have been "Currently unemployed" for too long to be living off anything that I made. My last job was almost a year ago and I only was able to work 3 days spread out over a month.

I don't think that by me saying I am a manager in the prepress industry" will work to well lol.

Thanks for the response I was worried that no one had any ideas.

>> I don't think that by me saying I am a manager in the prepress industry" will work to well lol.

I think that would work fine! We'll hook you up with a small earpiece and i'll have a microphone and if people are interested and ask you prepress questions I'll whisper the answers in your ear.

And I know that when they try that on sitcoms something ALWAYS goes wrong... but I've seen enough sitcoms to be able to avoid the pitfalls. That way instead of "watching the idiot box" i am "doing research"

Anyway some other ideas if they are being pushy about it... I think just be sort of vague and hope they get the hint.

Let them know you are ill but you don't have to tell them what your illness is. If they pressure you about money, just say you are temporarily disabled, and in the meantime you have the support of friends and family and disability to help you get by. Personally I think that sounds better than "my parents give me money" so you may be more comfortable saying that? "I'm currently unable to work but luckily I have the support of my family while I am in recovery"

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

And if everything is just unavoidable, in the long run try not to sweat it too much. Are they going to gossip? Are they going to judge you? Not worth worrying about, just work on yourself and on getting better.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

hahahahahhaa. Thank you Dexter. You actually got me to smile and laugh. Just thinking about this I have a huge smile on my face. That is the whole point of trying to avoid stuff is so that I don't have to tell them that I am ill or in temporary recovery. Unfortunately it's not just temporary and that will last as long as my old lie of "I still have some money saved up". They started to catch on.

Actually maybe I could politely just tell them to cram it and see how they take it. People that are asking me about what I do don't interest me as friends if they can't get over me telling them to cram it. lol anyway.
Thanks

hehehehe well you couldsay you're in between jobs right now... or that you're taking a sabatical for a while.... how about you're overqualified for all the local positions and considering moving overseas? You could say that you manage your money quite well thank you...

but often I just smile at questions I don't wish to answer, and respond with a question about them and they go off on a tangent. (this works especially well when ppl ask me how I am, I half nod and say, "and areyou doing well????")

Looters again see? Always trying to take from us.

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