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#1
Jul 29, 2014, 08:50 PM
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Wasn't really sure where I should post this but I guess I'll do it here as it somewhat related to severe depression. I was with a girl wants that was extremely depressed and for once I can do believe it's a serious chemical dysfunction. She's a great girl but unfortunately she slept 16 to 18 hours a day. I post Simply to see if I can get some feedback on an issue that I have had with her. This individual claims to be "sensitive" and has always stated that sex is an interplay between physical and emotional. I would not disagree with that however there seems to be a double standard with regards to this. During a personal argument she will frequently indicate that she's going to cut this particular activity off our to do list. Obviously as a Beryle man Ha I wished that she had not. My thought is that if she can do so and feels justified in requiring emotional coddling over several days then I to have my rights. Remember ladies where deep within the feminist movement. What is that if my needs are purely physical and her needs a purely emotional and she requires several days of emotional to clean them why is it that I should not be allowed to simply have sex with her for several days until her offense is forgiven.? It seems to me that it's a two-way street. Then again I maybe wrong as I'm just a guy.
__________________
-If you can see it, then you can be it! 
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#2
Jul 29, 2014, 09:10 PM
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Hello, JackBlack. Is couples' therapy an option? If not, it is up to both of you to communicate better. Retribution is harsh.
I wish you well. |
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#3
Jul 30, 2014, 03:10 PM
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It should be a two way street and men need emotional support too. If she is severely depressed she may not be capable of giving you what you need.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
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#4
Jul 30, 2014, 03:45 PM
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do I get this right, you are basically suggesting that she owes you sexual availability, even if she is sick?
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#5
Jul 31, 2014, 06:55 PM
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Well I really should not have place this under the depression forum. It belongs in the relationship section as it's a general question about relationships. If a woman insists on certain conditions prior to sexual intimacy then is it my right as well to insist on sexual intimacy prior to her needs of emotional support be provided. It seems to me that women have an unfair upper hand on this relationship component
__________________
-If you can see it, then you can be it!
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#6
Jul 31, 2014, 07:11 PM
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Yes but you mention that she has severe depression and sleeps 16 hours a day. Severe depression is a huge factor for her and for the relationship. It is not a typical relationship. You will have to decide if you can live with how it effects things.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
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#7
Jul 31, 2014, 07:19 PM
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Quote:
__________________
-If you can see it, then you can be it!
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#8
Jul 31, 2014, 07:43 PM
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It is very debilitating and sex is the first thing to go. I really hope she can get successful treatment and then it would be different. Maybe you can play a big role in that.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
 JackBlack
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#9
Jul 31, 2014, 07:49 PM
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Of course your needs are just as important. I often think my depression is harder on those around me than on me. You need support too. And I don't mean having sex outside the relationship, just general emotional support and friends and time away from it.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
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#10
Jul 31, 2014, 07:58 PM
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Yes and that's difficult for me because I just moved to a new state to be with this girl and have no family or friends here. It is so difficult for me to deal with this though because I think of a good relationship as including frequent and on hampered sex in this case the depression has definitely gotten in the way and things are getting tense...yike
__________________
-If you can see it, then you can be it!
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#11
Jul 31, 2014, 08:38 PM
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Read Zinco's replies and he was very balanced and fair handed in his approach. I personally am on the opposite spectrum... I am a bloke, married and have no interest in sex... as my depression has been a long term issue sex has been a non issue pretty much from the start.
My wife has made no demands on this... she does want children and that is a hurdle we're going to have to broach at some point... and thankfully I am currently getting the help, therapy and medication that is pulling me in the right direction. As such I'm going to tone down what was initially going to be a pretty harsh reply  Quote:
But, as mentioned and I think Zinco put it well when he said: "Yes but you mention that she has severe depression and sleeps 16 hours a day. Severe depression is a huge factor for her and for the relationship. It is not a typical relationship. You will have to decide if you can live with how it effects things." Amongst other helpful comments that as I've said were fair handed. You need to seriously consider what you want out of this relationship and also what you are prepared to give... mental health is debilitating not just to the sufferer of but also to those close to the one going through it. So, if you are unable to handle that responsibility and commitment (that in the long run could be very rewarding and lead to a healthy relationship)... then seriously consider where you stand... don't let things fester or continue for the sake of appearances... either commit or let her go (preferably gently).
__________________
 Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK |
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