[MissingNumber]

Wake up. Work. Study. Personal projects. Go to sleep.

Where are the other people in this? Well, there aren't any. I talk to two people offline I might see once or twice a month and the clients at work - that's my social life.

Whenever I try to involve myself with people, it feels like my only purpose is to entertain them, to sympathize with them, and to engage them by being interested in their lives. My online friend from Germany who's helping me become more fluent noticed that the things I was posting online seemed a bit off and asked if I was okay. I almost cried. He was the first person in several months to reach out to me and show interest in my life who was not family

I love the things I fill my time with and I genuinely feel that I can achieve meaningful things with them, but I struggle when I feel so alone and every day I just go home to a couple of people online and a netbook full of slow progress towards my goals. If I can't keep up, then I'll just feel even worse.

[glok]

Hello, MissingNumber. If you are receiving treatment, have you talked to your treatment team about this?

I wish you well.