[Melmo]

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I'm a boring person, and I don't know why anyone would want to be my friend or hang out with me.
I was trying to write something on an online dating site, basically talking about yourself and what your hobbies are etc and I was just thinking, I'm a boring person, I'm no fun to be around and nobody would want to date me, because I'm ugly and have a ****** personality. I always want to be alone, so when I try to think of my interests, I don't seem to have any.
This sucks

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[Melmo]

My best friend has been saying that we should go out drinking like we used to do after we graduated hs, we used to have so much fun. I don't feel like I'm capable of having that much fun or being that fun to be around anymore, maybe if I get drunk.

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[Frankbtl]

Hi JWTBN, firstly I'd say that "boring" can be a bit subjective e.g. if there's particular T.V. programmes you like, films, books or music you've enjoyed and you find someone who really likes the same, THEY aren't going to think you're boring.
It does sound like you personally want more though, so see your recent thoughts as a GOOD thing and the impetuous to bring a bit more into your life or to just make some simple changes. And you really can be on your own IF you want with a lot of activities and interests. Maybe just finding something you're passionate about will make you feel better about yourself and gradually about feeling better with others??
You know you can do activities on your own BESIDES others as well e.g. swimming, going to the gym, then you've always the option WHEN you're ready of starting a casual conversation and making it more.
I'm not so sure everybody wants someone to be "fun" around them all the time anyway. Sometimes it's even better to just enjoy someone's company and have a "nice" time with them. So don't worry if you aren't the kind of person right now who's going to be "fun". Maybe that will come, maybe you're just the type of person who's got even better qualities than being "fun", EVEN if you aren't seeing them in yourself right now!!
And self-confidence..........? Well, maybe a little work on that??
Ugly is SO (big letters!!) subjective, as is ****** personality!! You know that, right!! And I for one am not going to believe it
Fine if you want to make the odd change to your personality/outlook/perspectives go for it but absolutely DON'T sell yourself short. There's SO often a LOT more to people than they believe.
Alison

I'm bored of being bored because being bored is boring !

I can very much relate to what you are saying. It is brutal every time I visit my mother (and I can remember the same feeling when I used to visit my grandmother) - and they would ask "so what is new"?

Silence

Nothing. Absolutely nothing is new. Ever. I get up, I go to work. I hate being there. I go home. I watch tv. I hate being there. I go to sleep. I struggle sleeping through the night. Sleep is my only refuge.

So what is new? Nothing.

Old people in nursing homes have more excitement in their lives.

Don't worry my friend, your experience with the dating site is exactly the same thing that happened to me. I had to write something about myself, and it was so difficult, I had to look at other men's profiles just to see what they did as an example . It was then I realised how empty I am in life. And, each woman's profile I read says:

"Hi, my name is ......., I know I'm young at only 21 years old, but my friends and colleagues say I'm very mature for my age. I like cooking and dining al-fresco, hiking, horse-riding, dancing, surfing, my graphic designing/accounting/auditing/law career, going for long walks on the beach, nice restaurants, movies, theatre and sunset cocktails. I am a career- and goal-driven, ambitious young woman, with a flair for life and a love for great times, especially going out. I love my three dogs, two cats, two parakeets, five exotic reptiles and my horses in my private stable, and, I love children (O oh, well, they scare the hell out of me). In my spare time (I'm thinking at this point, "What, you still have time left after ALL of this?") I volunteer at my local clinic, giving much-needed medicines to the homeless and needy, and on occasion I also tutor those less fortunate and adult learners in maths, accounting and business studies. I am also a fore-standing member of the Rotary Club International and I dedicate the rest of my life to the running of the local Methodist Church. O yes, and I forgot to mention, I'm doing my master's in child psychology, because of my aforementioned love for children."

At this point I'm usually like, wow! All I'll be bringing to this relationship is a p*nis attached to a fat body and nothing else, and that's not even something to write home about because of my naturally low levels of testosterone making me more mouse than man.

So, all I can say is, I definitely know the feeling of being boring, especially when it seems I've been missing out quite a lot in life. I personify boredom.

[glok]

Hello, JustWantToBeNormal. Stating you always want to be alone and concluding no one would want to date you because you are boring begs a question: Do you want to date? If so, what can you do to make the boring label disappear?

I can't stand anymore boredom,everyday i'm in the same condition,doing nothing at all and boring as hell.Someone will say the easy solution,find a hobby,something you may like doing just to break up your boring daily routine etc.

[flours]

Had the same experience on dating website (yes, there are boring women, too). All I could think of as not boring was things I should really keep to myself. Exciting stuff -that is what other people may think of as entertaining- makes me nervous. And not exciting but interesting things are odd. How could I expect anyone to find that attractive?

[flours]

so this is not about finding something to do you like:

if I am both bored and frustrated and sure that it cannot get any worse (only then!!!), I sometimes start consuming media and situations I otherwise would think of as too overwhelming.
(for me: extremely upsetting and difficult films I still think are worth watching, pieces of literature that clearly suggest things that are not compatible with my own ideas at all or that seem very hard to understand, doing something that is very unfamiliar to me, doing something the wrong way on purpose, etc.)
sort of works but in a way that you don't want all the time….

(doesn't do anything about being a boring person though)

Originally Posted by flours

so this is not about finding something to do you like

Exactly,it's not just to find a hobby you like to do or whatever,i want something better than just to go play a sport for example or watch films eating chips and kill time with that way.

[flours]

just suggested upsetting things to break the routine. i think fighting boredom may be about exceeding the limits of what you're used to. and if you can't find anything nice for yourself to do that something unpleasant can do the same job. it's actually more likely because it compels you.
however this might not be such a good idea if you're struggling with depression. I just did that before when I knew mood swings would not be life threatening.

Originally Posted by Sacred Path

i want something better than just to go play a sport for example or watch films eating chips and kill time with that way.

it sounds like you were looking for something more specific.
like a passion. something that get's you going. -is that right?