I can't bear this. I've suffered too much and I don't want to live like this. I can't bear it. Nothing works. Everything hurts me. I have been severely depressed for so long and I don't think it will ever end. I will be like this forever.

I don't want to be alive.

[pegasus]

Well no, you won't be like this forever although it feels like it right now. Can you use some distractions for a bit to take your mind off things?

[sideblinded]

8888an8888

I can truly relate right now. I have been truly awful now for a while but my MDD has peaked just the last 2 days. My mom died 16 years ago yesterday. It was an awful day. Today I am just barely coping with this depression. I made a call in to my pdoc a few days ago and I seem to not have really explained it well that I felt really depressed. I told them that the Adderall that he gave me was too strong for my ADHD and the medical assistant seemed to zero in on just that. So my pdoc just downed that med.

I said I thought "another antidepressant" would be better right now. She seemed to miss that. "I am looking at my schedule because I am so responsible to see when I could go in for hospitalization to get the right meds for me. I see a new T on Tuesday and I will surely convey my depression to her.

I do know that for you and me there are better days to come. The trick is to ask for help and be patient enough to get that help whatever form it is from your doctor. You have to ask for help as I am telling myself the same thing.

You are not alone.

MDD (only on 15 mg Mirtazapine for sleep)
GAD (Clonazepam 1mg twice a day)
ADHD (Adderall 5 mg once a day)

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you guys. The depression is just buried so far down inside me, I can't see the point of living like this. And it hurts so badly. The abuse will never leave me.

[sideblinded]

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

Thank you guys. The depression is just buried so far down inside me, I can't see the point of living like this. And it hurts so badly. The abuse will never leave me.

I try for distractions like thriller movies when I get so down. My library has some free DVD's and I get immersed in them until I can cope better. Maybe look for some things to get your mind off of the bad stuff until you can cope enough to feel better. Hope this helps. xx