[MrMessy]

I have been diagnosed with Major Depression, Panic Disorder, ADHD and Borderline Personality Disorder over my lifetime. I suspect all of them are true, except the BPD, which I think is only partially true.

I am lucky that I have found a low dose of the medication Abilify VERY helpful for various aspects such as preventing my darkest moods, and completely stopping outbursts of anger.

Don't find normal anti-depressants work for me.

But still in a generally poor mood state, not severely poor, but often feel pessimistic/lack positivity.

Have had some level of suicidal thoughts and thinking but not crisis severe, and I am not the sort to tell other people about them (including professionals).

Greatly lack motivation, always have. I'm very impulsive, and addiction prone. Have had long history of alcohol/drug abuse issues, been mostly good recently, but struggling to stay completely away from Alcohol. Still heavily addicted to Nicotine chewing gum.

Meh. Motivation and impulsive behaviour are my core problems. Then its low moods and anxiety. I rarely go out of the house I am too anxious and paranoid. Don't trust people. Often go several days without seeing another person/going out. Get very paranoid someone is going to break in.

[atomicc]

It sounds like you are still having a lot of issues. Do you think taking something for your anxiety may be helpful to you?

[Nightworld1066]

Have you seen a psych Dr or being referred cmht

[Altered Moment]

I am very similar. Major addiction and alcoholism issues for many years which I overcame. Overcoming those did not really help my mental illness though. In fact it got worse. But the self medicating was not going to work anymore....it quit working. So medication, therapy, being honest, meditation, and all i can think of to throw at it is what I do. It has still been a life long struggle. Living with it and holding on to hope that it can get better is how I deal with it. Currently I am doing very well so it can get better but it could get worse again. I am glad abilify is helping, maybe other things can help as well.

[regretful]

I have not an ounce of motivation to do anything other than get out of bed in the morning. I'm not drinking anymore - I'm not on any medication, primarily due to side-effects, but secondarily due to the massive expenese...I know this pain of no motivation all too well...

[Fuzzybear]

[IrisBloom]

Recovery is usually a very slow process. Be kind to yourself and don't get frustrated if you aren't making the strides you think you should. Sounds to me like you are headed in the right direction. Things will improve!

[Altered Moment]

I also wanted to mention that lack of motivation has been my biggest problem my whole life. Even at my best it is difficult. I could never own my own business or be self employed. I would give myself everyday off. lol