Feeling the Wave Build Up Again...

Hi, I'm new to the site so I'm introducing myself on the forums that deal with my issues. I have struggled with depression my whole life, diagnosed three years ago, undergone most treatment for it. I've been relatively good, afloat, for a while now, but recently have been feeling overwhelmed and am scared that I'm gonna get swallowed up by depression again. Everything feels too stressful, I feel like I can't handle holding a job, I feel like I can't do it (life, responsibilities, independence) on my own. I'm a musician, and recently moved to a new city and have been hit by some pretty hard negativity and it's all making me feel like I should give up because I can't do any of it... tackle the music industry, not feel overwhelmed by a full-time job, live alone... I hate feeling powerless, like I can't do any of these things, especially music which is all I've ever been passionate about. And then I feel shame that I can't do what seems so easy for most other people, like going to work every day, or somehow getting paid music gigs frequently. I feel really down on myself right now. Please help.

just as your title states, see these emotions as a wave. they are going to come over you, you are going to feel overwhelmed, like you are drowning, but like all waves, they are going to recede and you will be fine again. look to the part when the wave is going to recede and youre going to be fine and you will get through it.

Thanks Kaliope, that is true, the wave will recede eventually. But it is a dark wave. And every time it comes, it is different. A few years ago, medication was the right choice. A year ago, no medication was the right choice. Now... who knows. This is a lifelong thing I guess.

Welcome to PC. Yes for me it has been a life long battle. I wish I could say there are easy solutions but I have not found them. I just keep trying to throw what I can at it including medication and many other things.