[Always be a unicorn]

It's been quite a while since I last felt depressed. A combination of medication, counselling and even this site helped get me out of the dark place and I managed to go for a decent stretch (three whole months!) in a relatively stable mood.

Lately, however, my depression has been coming back and is starting to take over my life again. I've began to feel intense loneliness, moments of anxiety and severe depressive episodes.

Even worse, I've had moments when I've failed to see any meaning in my life. These moments are rare, but they're getting worse and more frequent. When they do hit, I find myself getting... harmful ideas.

I'm still seeing my counselor, but I find it difficult to truly communicate with them. So far, they only know a fraction of what I'm going through. Every time I try to open up to them, I'm gripped by a sense of fear and I clam up.

I'm not going to lie: I'm terrified. I feel so alone and don't know what to do.

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by Always be a unicorn

It's been quite a while since I last felt depressed. A combination of medication, counselling and even this site helped get me out of the dark place and I managed to go for a decent stretch (three whole months!) in a relatively stable mood.

Lately, however, my depression has been coming back and is starting to take over my life again. I've began to feel intense loneliness, moments of anxiety and severe depressive episodes.

Even worse, I've had moments when I've failed to see any meaning in my life. These moments are rare, but they're getting worse and more frequent. When they do hit, I find myself getting... harmful ideas.

I'm still seeing my counselor, but I find it difficult to truly communicate with them. So far, they only know a fraction of what I'm going through. Every time I try to open up to them, I'm gripped by a sense of fear and I clam up.

I'm not going to lie: I'm terrified. I feel so alone and don't know what to do.

So sorry to hear! For MDD, it's all about tweaking your meds every so often, especially if you're on an SSRI. Then, when the meds start to work, therapy can be somewhat helpful! For me, the ADs I love are, Fetzima, Nefazodone and Aplenzin. Best of luck!

[regretful]

I'm sorry to hear that your depression is back...mine came back, and I've certainly had many moments in the past 9 months (or more) where I see no meaning in life. This site helped me out of a jam in 2012, and I'm staying here in the hopes that this is one of the pieces of the puzzle for me...Sorry you're terrified; but you're not alone. There's people here that care...

[Fuzzybear]

[lilypup]

Only feeling good for three months just seems so unfair. Do your very best to be totally honest with your doctors. If not you are wasting your time and money.