[imtrying]

I suffer from depression and anxiety. I've had intense therapy, ECT, and am on medication. It's been just over a year since I had the breakdown. Recently I've started to feel better only to relapse a few days later. The change over takes about two or three days and the depressed or improved mood lasts a day or two longer. The highs are getting higher and the lows are getting lower. I don't meet the criteria for bipolar. My highs never get manic. At first I would get very depressed and cry for hours when I realized the improvement was temporary and I was cycling down. Now I am more resigned to it. I can't plan anything. I make doctor appointments and can only hope it will be a day I can get out of bed. Is this a sign of improvement? Am I becoming bipolar? Is this common occurrence in depression? Any insight you could share would be much appreciated.

[Altered Moment]

That is very similar to my recent experience. My recent experience is not at all like my past experience. In April I started a new med called Fetzima. It has worked very well. Better than any other med. Yet I am cycling between good periods of two or three weeks and then I will crash big time for three or four days. Lately the depressions have been lasting longer. I have been in a moderate one for a week and a half now. I have no idea why this is happening and it is so different than it always has been. My doc says there is a battle waging in my brain between the med and the real me and the depression and sometimes the depression wins for awhile. I go through the motions of functioning and it can snap me out of it. It is getting harder though.

It might be a form of rapid cycling but I don't think it fits the exact definition. Its a baffling and horrible disease to fight.

[ThisWayOut]

I've found my body has a certain level of tolerance before it needs to balance out a bit again. My baseline functioning has been depressed for so long that my body has no concept of how to run "normal" (read that to mean:not severely, suicidally depressed). I will have times of relief from the depression, but I always come back to a lower baseline functioning than the average person.
For me, this is easier to handle without medications because my fluctuations are shorter overall, and it is easier to come out of a really bad spell.
There is disagreement in my records over my diagnosis though, so I have a feeling no one knows for sure if they should classify me as mdd or bipolar 2. I do not ever get "manic" but my functioning sometimes resembles hypomanic when the depression starts to lift... I would suggest talking to your treatment providers, as they may have a better picture of what is going on, and can actually make a diagnosis based on what they are seeing and what you tell them.

[imtrying]

Thank you for your response. It's good to hear from someone who has been there, done that. One things never changes for me and that's the anxiety. It's been a lifelong problem and my parents had it also. Thanks again.

[imtrying]

I have an appointment today, in fact I should be leaving now. At least that's proof that I've improved. It wasn't long ago that I couldn't drive myself as I would become disoriented at intersections or get lost in familiar neighborhoods. Thanks for your input.