[waterknob1234]

I suppose I just need some reassurance that I am not a bad person. I have been thru so much with depression, job stress, migraines, and physical health problems in the last few months. I have drained my financial resources. I think I have drained the patience of everyone around me. At least the migraine headaches are finally starting to ease off. I have had migraines almost every day since mid June.

I went for my regular appt. with my primary doctor on Aug 8. Everything seemed to go okay. He was pleasant. He was willing to treat my depression and migraines. He did not give me a followup appt. which I thought was odd but I figured that was an oversight.

This week I became very sick, weak, foggy headed and nauseated. I tried not to take any more time off from work as I have already taken too much time off work for sickness. I called my doctor's office twice to see if they could call me in something for nausea and they never called me back. Now I am paranoid. Are they trying to discharge me from the practice? Have I worn out their patience? I went to an after hours emergency clinic and saw a very nice doctor there who basically told me I am on too much medication and he told me I need to reduced my migraine medication and anti-depressant medication. I am on Wellbutrin 300mg and Prozac 20mg. This doctor was afraid I was getting serotonin syndrome.

I don't want to be a pain in the butt to other people all the time. I don't want to be physically and emotionally sick all the time. I want to live a happy, decent, and productive life. The doctor at the emergency clinic asked me how I am managing to work and I told him it is with difficulty.

Someone please just tell me I am not a terrible person.

[Travelinglady]

waterknob, you are not a terrible person. You have been hurting and wanted relief. Perhaps you should consider getting another primary care doctor, but because that one was overmedicating you.

[NowhereUSA]

you're not a bad person or a terrible person.

doctors are there to help us when we aren't well. it sounds like you are over medicated and those are very important symptoms. the fact that you didn't hear back from your doc is concerning, but not because of *you*. this is not the primary doc's specialty and that means more room for error simply because he doesn't know what to do. my primary doc is comfortable only prescribing the most basic of mental health meds. she will refer out to a pdoc if she needs to do more and i am grateful she realizes her limitations.

i'm concerned about your doc not recognizing his limitations. i would see a pdoc (and a t ).

some of us need more time and doctors are compensated for their time. you are availing yourself of services that you deserve to have access to. they should have responded. you are not a bad person because they did not. that is on them, not you.

[Idiot17]

You ain't .

[waterknob1234]

Originally Posted by NowhereUSA

you're not a bad person or a terrible person.

doctors are there to help us when we aren't well. it sounds like you are over medicated and those are very important symptoms. the fact that you didn't hear back from your doc is concerning, but not because of *you*. this is not the primary doc's specialty and that means more room for error simply because he doesn't know what to do. my primary doc is comfortable only prescribing the most basic of mental health meds. she will refer out to a pdoc if she needs to do more and i am grateful she realizes her limitations.

i'm concerned about your doc not recognizing his limitations. i would see a pdoc (and a t ).

some of us need more time and doctors are compensated for their time. you are availing yourself of services that you deserve to have access to. they should have responded. you are not a bad person because they did not. that is on them, not you.

Some of this mess is my fault. Over the summer I felt so bad I got desperate. My primary doc had me on citalopram for depression and it wasn't working so I went to a psychiatrist who prescribed wellbutrin and Prozac. I also went to a therapist. About this time migraines started. They got so bad a friend of mine set me up with a neurologist. The neurologist increased the Topamax that my primary doc started. I figured out I was not going to be able to afford to see the psychiatrist and therapist so I asked my primary doc if he minded taking over prescribing the wellbutrin and Prozac and he said that was okay with him. I told him I had not started the Prozac yet and I did not know if it was safe to take with the wellbutrin but he said they were okay to take together and he increased my Topamax. He said we needed to get my migraines and depression under control. But then I didn't get a return appointment. I'm just confused. I really liked this doctor too.

[ToeJam]

I don't see how any of the above makes you a bad person :scratches head:... and hardly your fault either. You have been honest with your doctors... so when in need, you asked for their help.

I'm glad that at least the emergency clinic identified concern.

Look after yourself water... you are a wonderful person and very supportive... the negativity you've put above is the depression speaking, not you

[NowhereUSA]

Originally Posted by waterknob1234

Some of this mess is my fault. Over the summer I felt so bad I got desperate. My primary doc had me on citalopram for depression and it wasn't working so I went to a psychiatrist who prescribed wellbutrin and Prozac. I also went to a therapist. About this time migraines started. They got so bad a friend of mine set me up with a neurologist. The neurologist increased the Topamax that my primary doc started. I figured out I was not going to be able to afford to see the psychiatrist and therapist so I asked my primary doc if he minded taking over prescribing the wellbutrin and Prozac and he said that was okay with him. I told him I had not started the Prozac yet and I did not know if it was safe to take with the wellbutrin but he said they were okay to take together and he increased my Topamax. He said we needed to get my migraines and depression under control. But then I didn't get a return appointment. I'm just confused. I really liked this doctor too.

it's not your fault. you didn't go to medical school and it sounds like you were open with your doctors.

look, even the best doc is going to screw up. even my primary doc has screwed up and i love her to pieces. they're human.

even so, not your fault.

can you see a pdoc at least so you can get your meds straightened out? even seeing a psychiatry PA would be helpful.

[Altered Moment]

of course you are not a terrible person. You are dealing with a lot. I wouldn't listen to an emergency room doctor. You should probably get a psychiatrist. For one thing wellbutrin does not act on serotonin so I don't see how you could be getting serotonin syndrome.

[waterknob1234]

I appreciate everybody's kindness here. I got upset and just needed moral support. I am still in a quandary, unsure of what to do next. One thing I am so thankful for is that I have had no migraine today for the first time in 2 months. I am going to rest and pray on this whole issue for a while. I am truthfully getting tired of medicine and doctors and the whole cycle. But I am also tired of being sick, and I want answers. I have medical tests done and nothing abnormal shows up so I really do look like a hypochondriac. I was seeing a psychiatrist and therapist but they were costing about $450.00 per month, not covered by insurance so I had to discontinue their services. I may try to find a cheaper therapist or find a way to do CBT on my own. I was turned away from Community Mental Health Services for low income folks, even though I am a low income person, because I have health insurance. I am going to turn to prayer to God. There is really nowhere else to turn.

[8Green48]

You're a good person going through a difficult time! It may take time to find a practitioner who you trust and feel comfortable with. Don't give up. Keep going till you find that practitioner. It's totally worth it!!! You are not a hypochondriac. You may be feeling anxiety. Hang in and pm any time if u need to talk!!!

[Altered Moment]

Prayer, meditation, CBT, exercise are things you can definitely do on your own.

I think the high expectations to perform your best at work and have it all together puts tremendous pressure on us when we just do not have the same capalbilities as others. The shame can bring us down even more.

[8Green48]

Thank you Zinco!!

[cryingontheinside]

Your not a bad person. Your being assertive and thats the only way to get help. I would go to the hospital with severe migrains, ask them if it is your medication. Dont stop trying to get help. I really wish you luck

[Fuzzybear]

[TheOriginalMe]

You have been a really good friend to many people here on PC, and your kind heart shines through when you post. You are not a bad person, you are just in a bad place and that most certainly is not your fault.

My personal experience has been that many anti-depressants cause migraine and it is trial and error in finding one that works. Also many anti-depressants can interact with migraine meds so that is another thing to watch out for.

Do you have specialist pharmacists in the States? The reason I ask is that pharmacists understand drugs, their side effects and their interactions far better than doctors whether in primary care or specialists. When you are trying to treat two complex conditions a pharmacist can advise on what drugs definitely not to take together and come up with a shortlist of what might work for you. Obviously you'd still need a doctor to Rx, but at least you would be better informed.

Don't be too hard on your primary care doctor, after all you had seen specialists and he was just agreeing to prescribe what the specialists had already put you on and medical protocol usually means that a primary care doc won't challenge a specialist. I don't know why you weren't offered a follow up appointment or why they didn't return your call. I do know that when I get into a state of high anxiety I take everything deeply personally when it usually isn't.

Even if you can't find the time to commit to CBT (online or in real life) simple breathing and relaxation exercises might help you take the edge of your anxiety and if you find prayer helpful, that too.

((((((Waterknob))))))

[waterknob1234]

Thank you so much everyone for your responses. I am glad to know I have friends who care. I could never tell all of this to people in my regular circle because they do not want to hear all of this. All of you are the best. I think I may consult a pharmacist about any interactions of wellbutrin and Topamax. Hopefully there are no major ones. However, I am gradually reducing my dosage of Topamax, hoping the migraines do not return. I have another appt. with the neurologist on Sept. 11. I may move that up sooner if need be. I will see what happens with my primary doc. Thanks everbody for your support. On the up side I have had no migraines for 2 days.

[waterknob1234]

Sept. 11 is an odd day to have a doctor appt. It has been 13 years but I will never forget the planes crashing into the twin towers in New York. I did not know anyone personally who died on that day, but it was as if I did because the world has not been the same since.

[waterknob1234]

I heard from my primary doctor's office today so as it turns out all my worrying about my doctor not wanting to see me was for nothing. I am relieved. I worry too much about the craziest of things. Maybe that is my depression anxiety. But the odd thing is I don't get scared of the things "normal" people get scared to death of. I may explain more about that in another thread. Unfortunately, I did not get to talk to the nurse but she left a helpful message on my voicemail. I appreciate everyone's kindness and help more than you will ever know.