[Starbuckz83]

I know for certain I have depression. I am at work right now feeling so overwhelmed. I just want to go home and go to bed. The thing is though, I’m not just depressed. The numb feeling is there, but other times….I can be the happiest person in the world. Joking around, talking, laughing…and one tiny thing will make me cry for hours. I’m up, down, up, down, up, down…the only way I can describe it is “chaos.” Utter chaos. Mentally and emotionally. I can go from being totally happy, confident, being social, joking around, laughing…to not wanting to talk to anyone. Just wanting to be by myself. My friends have noticed my depression, which upsets me. My family has told me that I need help because my mood swings and rash decisions have exhausted them. I came home one day totally confident and excited in the fact that I was going to quit my current job and go back to my old one. It made absolute sense to me. I announced it when I got hom and my mom and sister were like…what? Why? They had to talk me out of it. I started to cry when they were questioning me. They said I wasn’t making any sense. I had *obsessively* thought about it all day long. It came over me. Like a rush. It was the answer to my life. God was telling me to do it. Sorry this is so long. Everything in my head, and my emotions, are so unstable I need to drink to make it stop. I started hurting myself a few years ago, I stopped, then I started again in January. I can’t live like this anymore. I am on Lexapro by my PC doc.

[Direction]

Welcome Starbuckz83...

You'll find support from many.

I'm too the point kind of person. Have you described your ups to your P-doc? On your next visit it would probably be good to describe what you've just described in your first post. I would take a stab in the dark that Lexapro may not be the right choice after you discuss the ups with him. It may help with downs, but it may make the ups even more up.

Anyways please discuss the ups with your P-doc as this will be really important in getting you help for the ups