On September 4th, it will be 13 months since my depression began. At first I was able to function okay but now I spend the majority of my waking hours in bed, just lying there because there's not a thing I want to do - - partially because I know nothing makes me feel better and partially because I just have zero motivation. I don't have the guts or desire to kill myself but I would imagine people who do kill themselves feel as bad as I do.

I'm on my sixth depressant now since this began last August. Nothing has worked. This is the longest and most severe depression I've been in and it is extremely difficult just to make it through each day. I found a psychiatrist in my health plan who does ECT. Although I was all set to have ECT three times before and chickened out at the last minute, I feel this is my only option now. The psychiatrist schedules his own first appointments. I've left three messages now - - one a week - - and he still hasn't called me back. He's the only option in my plan for ECT and each day I wait for the call seems like years.

How do I make it through each day when this fight is so difficult?

[Can't Stop Crying]

keep going with everything you have...i know it is so much easier said than done....depression is like a trap, once it snares you - it is so hard to break free. i wish i had something better to say or some magical wisdom to give....just know that i am listening

[chicana14]

Omg....I'm the same.I don't do anything throughout the day.I just think of when I am going to get out of this depression. Idk what to do...wish my life was like before.

[TheOriginalMe]

It can be a very long haul to get the right treatment plan. All I can say is hold on, things will eventually move one way or another.

[Mustkeepjob32]

Hopefully you will go through ECT because I do believe it works for a lot of people. My pdoc also recommends ECT but I was too scared to do it. If I ever have another relapse like I had a couple months ago, I think there will be no option but ECT.

[Altered Moment]

ECT is supposed to more effective than anything. You might want to check out TMS and also Ketamine.

And you never know you might find a good med combo. After 20 years I found one better than any other. I was in an 8 month depression and then a 6 month one. These meds lifted me right out of the 6 month one. I was as bad as you have been too.

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[waterknob1234]

I know how you feel. I too have been in a 13 month depression, on 4 different meds. Depression really hurts. I am searching for a therapist I can afford. Very difficult with bad insurance. Keep calling every day. Keep trying. Wish you all the best.

[odysseyofnoises]

I have, more or less, been in a depression for the last 7 years. Personally, I don't really see how it would go away, but for you the case may be different.

any other thoughts? I really need support . . . thanks