[Alone91]

I'm 23, have never had a real boyfriend, and I'm terrified that the rest of my life will be the same. I feel like I'm broken somehow. I see mean, awful people who are in relationships, but I'm often considered the "nicest person willing to help anyone" and I can't find anyone. Im not pretty, and I'm overweight, but I see other people the same size in relationships. It starting ti feel like I'm unloveable and that I will never have anyone. I dont need a boyfriend right this second, but I need to know it's possible.

[Little Jay]

Of course it's possible sweetie! And of course you are NOT unloveable. I hate to hear you speak so negatively about yourself, I bet you're so beautiful really you just can't see it!! Sending hugs and happy thoughts!

[Terabithia]

the future is so unexpected it's almost magical - you'll travel along in life and there right around the corner somebody will be there. Don't let the present get you down. Love will come.

[VioletBubble]

You are NOT unlovable and yes, it is possible. Just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it won't ever happen. I'm sorry you are feeling so down about your life and your prospects.

The danger here is in taking on the attitude that you are unlovable and that it will never happen (ask me how I know!). I understand how easy it is to feel that way, but you must, MUST work against those feelings the best you can. Why? Because that's where you could inadvertently create a self-fulfilling prophecy that guarantees you will never have what you want (again, ask me how I know...)

Move away from those thoughts the best you can. Nip them in the bud. When you think "I will never have anyone," stop yourself then and there and say "Not true! It just hasn't happened yet but it can and it will!" And really, that's the truth--it can and it WILL.

I'm sure you are prettier than you feel you are. Truly. We women judge ourselves so harshly. I recently read that people judge us to be 20% more attractive than we rate ourselves to be. That's a significant amount.

If you are not comfortable with your weight, and want to lose some, you can do so. But like you said, you see people your size in relationships, so that is not the be-all, end-all factor.

I know women who didn't even start dating or having sex until their 30's who are now married mothers, and they were not putting off dating due to their hectic schedules as high-fashion or bikini models. Not saying it won't happen before your 30's, just that it having not happened by age 23 is not a accurate prediction or prophecy that it will never happen.

What you don't want to be is the woman who gives up entirely (again, me, sigh...). That will be the death knell to your dreams.

It can happen, it will happen. It is possible. Heck, it's nothing short of very, very, very likely.

Hang in there.

[Alone91]

Thanks for the support. I've been having a really rough time lately, and giving up keeps looking like the better option

[VRichards9612]

Similar situation here but different position. Haven't had a girl of my own yet and I've always considered myself to be at least handsome but my lack of an interesting personality has been my downfall. I know giving up kinda seems like a better option but it's really not. Maybe just put your thoughts of getting into a relationship aside for now. Get yourself together and put yourself into situations where you can meet people more often. You will find friends, at least, to get you through and eventually find someone who shares a mutual interest in you.