Looking for help

This is my first time posting on here..
I've realized that I do need help. I've been dealing with depression for years now and I've notice it gets worse each year. I try my hardest not to hurt myself, but it's getting harder each night for me to stay in control. I don't hang out with anyone really, because I never truly feel good enough to. I can't sleep at night because of insomnia, so my depression really hits then. I feel like anyone I talk to does not or won't truly understand how I feel. I don't just have depression, I have schitz, anxiety, and other issues I deal with from day to day. It's making me feel hopeless.
I don't intend on ever committing suicide, but I'm tired of feeling the way I do. I feel like there's a black blanket of bad thoughts over my head all the time. Other people make being positive and happy look and seem so easy. I just don't understand or feel like I could ever be truly happy. So I know I need help, but I don't know how or where to go. I'm 18 years old and I don't want to get my parents involved. They already have a lot of issues going on in their life and I don't want them to worry about me. This is something I want to do on my own. I was hoping someone could help me out on here and point me in the right direction.

I understand a lot of what you are saying. Especially the idea that you don't want to get your parents involved. But I promise you they love you and want to help you.

You need to see a doctor, you need to reach out for help. If you don't want to share what's inside with your parents then I would suggest telling them "I don't want to discuss the details, but I need an appointment with psychiatrist." I went through a spell recently where I finally decided I didn't want to feel like this anymore and so I got on medication immediately. My family doctor prescribed it so I could be on something until I get my appointment with the psychiatrist. So I might really suggest starting with your family doctor. In fact, that's one way to avoid talking to your parents. If you have insurance or are still on theirs, you can go to the doctor and not tell your parents what for.

Some of my biggest advice is to be 100% open and honest with all of your doctors. That's the only way they can truly help you.

I think you need to speak to someone to. A psychologist or other therapist. Again, you could tell your parents you need this, but you don't feel comfortable talking about why right now. Be honest with them too, and that would be an honest approach.

I did the same thing with my mom. I'm a little older than you, but I needed some financial help getting to the psychologist, and that's what I told her. "I don't want to talk about why, but I need to be in therapy." She accepted that.

As far as them having their own problems, they are adults and have been through a lot already. I promise the last thing in the world they would want would for you to continue to be in pain. I felt the same way about my brother and his wife, that they have two kids and the mother in law has mental health issues also and they have enough to deal with already. But when I finally reached out to them for help they responded in a positive way. They basically said none of that matters that they would be there for me.

I really hope you can find it in you to talk to your parents. And I really hope you can get the help you want. I'm new here, but if you want to talk about it more just PM me.

Best of luck.

Welcome to PC. You can find a ton of support and understanding here. We are there and have been there.

People find it tricky telling their parents because sometimes parents can be in denial or can just be very unsupportive. I wouldn't not tell them for the sole reason that you think it would be a burden. You need help and they might be in the best position to get you that help. If your parents are loving, caring, supportive people I would encourage you to tell them. Families that are fairly healthy will share each others burdens and help each other.

Are you in school? is there a school counselor you can talk to?

At 18 you are an adult and can seek treatment on your own. Sometimes people here will research for you what resources for free or low cost may be available in your area. If you PM me where you live I am happy to do that.

I don't think any of us can do this alone. We need lots of support. I think you should seek professional help but there are things you can do on your own. I dunno about schitz but anxiety and depression can be helped by CBT, mindfullness, meditation, journaling, DBT, diet, exercise and so on. You can teach yourself CBT and practice its techniques. There are lots of resources on this site.

Start here-
In-Depth: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy | Psych Central