Is this normal?

First off sorry if this is in the wrong section I wasent to sure and I've never done this before. My name is Alex, I'm 16 years old and I've been struggling mentally for a long time. About two years ago I got very depressed in the month of November and this lasted until about April. I've always struggled with anxiety issues my whole life like low self esteem fear of talking to people etc... Anyways life was great all that summer until November came around again and then I got very depressed again. This time I fell deep. I starting popping pills and drinking alcohol to get by. One night I ran out of both and ended up cutting myself trying to feel something. I'm not nor was I ever suicidal but I just need something. Anything. Once again I pushed through until April and then the depression lifted again. In April I also started lifting weights and that got a lot of energy and anger out. To this day I go out to my weight room and listen to music and pace back and forth for hours at a time 6 days a week. Sometimes I feel like this is the only thing keeping me from going off at everybody. The only thing holding me together. I'm not sure if this is related but a couple weeks ago I was hanging out with a friend and I don't know why but I almost did something really stupid and give myself a homemade tattoo. It's like my brain just dident register that it was a bad idea. I run off of about 4-5 hours of sleep a night and have plenty of energy every day. Even tho I have so much anger I have become very good at hiding it from people during the day. I have trust issues so not even my best friends know of my problems. Should I chalk it up to hormones? Sorry for the long post.

Hi Thtguysfriend, have you considered therapy? It can be helpful and give you some better coping skills.

-Take care,

1) For safety don't include your name in your posts.

2) Don't just chalk it up to hormones. Talk to your parents about going to see your doctor. Tell your doctor what is going on and ask for a referral to a therapist and psychiatrist. It sounds like working out is a good coping skill for you, but it also sounds like you could use some help with dealing with the anger. You don't want to end up drinking/drugs and cutting again. They aren't healthy. There is help, but you have to let people know so they can help you. One of my big regrets was not asking for help when I was younger. I kept everything bottled up and I didn't have to feel that way for so long. So please ask for help. It doesn't make you weak. It takes a strong person to ask for help.