[breakmystride]

About six months ago, I tried to commit suicide, but I survived. I have no intentions of trying again, so I'm not actually suicidal anymore, but sometimes I really wish I hadn't survived. There's absolutely no reason for me to still be here. There's no one in my life who needs me, and I don't have anything to work towards because I've already failed at every life goal I've ever had. I'm badly in debt, and I have no freedom because I can't afford a car and am totally dependent on other people. I feel lonely because no one cares about me, but at the same time, I'm stressed because my roommates are always around and I never get to be alone. Lately I've been feeling very emotional, but I can't let it show because if people found out how messed up I still am, I could lose my job and my roommates, and be even worse off than I am now.

It seems like the only thing that matters is getting through each day, but I don't know why, because there is never anything better about the next day. It's like I'm fighting a battle that I know I can never win.

Your reason to live now is to find reasons to live.

[Sprite22]

I can tell you about bills. And not having good cars. There must be something to live for in your life...I hope. Don't give up, hang in there with a (((hug)))z.

[Creative1onder]

No one is perfect and no one has an ideal perfect life. Happiness is not permanent fixed condition and true happiness is not found through material external things or by depending on or being attached to others. You need to find what makes you feel good inside, what is meaningful to you personally and treat yourself with care and value like you would others..

[Blues47]

Originally Posted by breakmystride

About six months ago, I tried to commit suicide, but I survived. I have no intentions of trying again, so I'm not actually suicidal anymore, but sometimes I really wish I hadn't survived.

Well that's something. I attempted around 25 years ago and I fully intend to do it and not fail if I don't die accidentally first. I have stretches when I am distracted to some extent from my 'demons' and I'd like to do it during one of those times, as opposed to waiting until I'm in complete crisis mode.

[Alter]

I know what you feel, i also tried to commit suicide and survived, never tried again and its been years but i still have no reasons to live. I've lost the will to live and im not sure il ever get it back. But what keeps us alive? Maybe its like Indefatigable said and we are still alive so we can find a reason to live, to get back our will to live, but i don't know if that day will ever come. I really hope it does, for both os us.