[believer55]

I suspect my partner has mixed episodes and it has been a real roller coaster ride for the past 2 years. He cycles every7 day or so. I have been doing lots of reading and I myself have Dep/Anxiety (Prystique). His angry outbursts and verbal assaults have gotten to the stage I am starting to bottle things up and it is so tempting to become someone I am not just to keep the peace. I did this to myself many years ago in a relationship with and alcohol/weed addict and it took me years to find myself again. I constantly struggle between "Be yourself and if he gets angry bad luck" and "just shut up and take it and be submissive, it will be easier".

How do you be true to yourself?

[Blue_Bird]

Hi believer55, I'm sorry for what you're going through. You may want to check out these two sections of the forum:

Partners of People & Caregivers Support - Forums at Psych Central
Relationships & Communication - Forums at Psych Central

I wish you the best.

[Fuzzybear]

[Frankbtl]

Hi believer, I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time
But firstly I've got to really commend you on finding your way back from/finding yourself after your previous relationship. Real kudos to you for that!!!
And after being in one abusive relationship it can sometimes be hard to see the signs or confront abuse in another, just like the thought "just shut up and take it and be submissive, it will be easier" so I've got to really admire your strength in challenging that. Good on you, real good place to start.
Now maybe his mixed episodes account for some of what's been going on, with irritability, restlessness.............and the rest going on in those episodes, but it sounds like you're paying way too high a price here, right??
So could you get him to agree to see his doctor/pdoc?? Get him to agree for you to go along with him to explain a bit more what's going on, maybe he's having difficulty raising everything/recalling or putting significance on things??? Or if that's a problem maybe his doctor/pdoc would accept a letter/email from you detailing everything, they might not tell you much due to confidentiality but............
And are you sure he's taking his medication as prescribed?? Maybe worth querying with him in a non-accusational/non-confrontational way??
Maybe there's a friend, one of his family members you could tell your concerns to who might be able to help or encourage him to get some help?? I'm assuming you've already tried talking to him about the issues.
But ultimately there has got to be a bottom line here, right?? You have got to think about yourself in all of this. And you know you don't deserve to be in an abusive relationship, right? No-one does!!! So if no answers/resolve is coming, you really have to put yourself first. And although walking away may seem so hard, just remember that strength you so clearly, definitely have got. And how important it is to "Be yourself"
And with the depression/anxiety........of course make sure you get all the help you need, but it's also good you've found us
You're going to find so many understanding and supportive people on here, so if you want to talk...............
Alison

[Altered Moment]

I don't think you have to accept unacceptable behavior even if you understand the reason for it and have empathy. Like you said an alcoholic will act like an alcoholic but you don't have to consign it. Not accepting it may force change.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[believer55]

Thank you everyone. Being true to yourself can be exhausting but you are right being submissive will not help me and will not help him. Have asked to go to his psych with him...he is trying to cope without meds but we have been reconsidering this. Feeling stronger today. Finding strength in these forums.