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Member
Member Since May 2014
Location: Dallas
Posts: 195
10 9 hugs
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#181
Bad day or so. I just can't function right now. I just want to sleep. My stress and anxiety that comes with my depression is causing my migraines to come back which is just another med and another day in bed.
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Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, flours, hope2010, mulan, TheOriginalMe
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Member
Member Since Aug 2014
Posts: 451
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#182
When everything literally sucks ***.
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Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, flours, hope2010, mulan
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 3,105
10 16 hugs
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#183
I am struggling today. I took a shower. This has been my only accomplishment for the day.
__________________ Dx: Bipolar I, ADD, GAD. Rx: Fluoxetine, Buproprion, Olanzapine, Lamictal, and Strattera. |
Anonymous37914, Bark, flours, hope2010, mulan, TheOriginalMe
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#184
Even with all that's happened, and both of my parents drinking tonight, there hasn't been a single fight between the two of them. Is this a sign that things can only go up from here? Should I be worried?
They'll both be sober tomorrow, and I'm hoping so hard the two of them can work things out. I'm clinging to this frail hope that we can recover, even if only partially. That hope is the only thing keeping me from giving up. |
Bark, Clara22, flours, hope2010, mulan, TheOriginalMe
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2013
Posts: 2,188
11 5,526 hugs
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#185
I am still at the hospital. My health is not improving. Here I have a Pdoc and T. They gave me fluoxetine 20mg. I am trying to keep calm
__________________ Clara Hope is definitely not the same thing as optimism. It is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out. Vaclav Havel |
Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, flours, hope2010, mulan, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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Member
Member Since Aug 2014
Posts: 451
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#186
Ive hurt and been hurt severely. I dont know how to come back from this.
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Anonymous37914, Bark, flours, hope2010, tigerlily84
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
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#187
I am so tired, physically and mentally tired. The medications made me tired, the post cancer treatment made me more tired, fatigue, joints pain, and my mind ... well my mind is not fine. If it is true that all the mental illness I have are from a Chemical imbalance, then why is taking more than 3 decades to find the right medications and dose to help me?
I know, is not all about the medication, I need therapy too, but time pass and here am writing to you all about how much I want to be a normal person. I think am not going not be normal, ever, not even when I think that am stable am normal. I can live with that but I can't stand this emptiness, the sad and dark thoughts, the pain, the irony of this lonely ... Quote:
__________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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Anonymous37914, Bark, flours, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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Member
Member Since Nov 2009
Location: Rocky Mountains
Posts: 451
14 947 hugs
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#188
Starting a new job tomorrow. I've had 3 crying jags and 2 panic attacks this weekend. What the heck is wrong with me
__________________ I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell |
Anonymous37914, Bark, flours, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,617
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,462 hugs
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#189
I'm not improving. This is so demoralizing.
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Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, Nammu, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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Member
Member Since Aug 2014
Posts: 451
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#190
Was ok earlier now I feel like ****.
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Anonymous37914, Bark, mulan, tigerlily84
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Crone
Member Since May 2010
Location: Some where between my inner mind and the solar system.
Posts: 73,525
(SuperPoster!)
14 56.2k hugs
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#191
The pdoc listened and took me seriously, what a nice change from the past. He didn't discount my side effects and agreed with my changing the time to evening.
I'm a bit worried about the blood work results next week but other wise doing ok. Coasting along at null level. __________________ Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, flours, mulan, Rose76, TheOriginalMe
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Bark, mulan, Rose76, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#192
Getting up after only 3 hours sleep doesn't help.. I don't know why my doc didn't care about my heart, it is really bugging me.
I made myself get out today, but it wasn't great. My son is out of my hands a bit, but I'm exhausted and will just have to put up with his anger later when I unplug his videogame.. I'm very lonely today and down, hoping tomorrow is better |
Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, flours, mulan, Nammu, Rose76, TheOriginalMe
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,046
11 3,220 hugs
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#193
This night I saw a falling star. My sister told me to make a wish, I know these things don't work, but even só I wished for friends.
__________________ I am not crazy, I am hurt |
Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, Clara22, flours, Rose76, TheOriginalMe
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aprillynn197, Nammu
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Over there
Posts: 1,320
12 3,546 hugs
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#194
I am frustrated. I want to get back to being myself again. But I don't really know who that is.
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Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, flours, Nammu, regretful, Rose76, TheOriginalMe
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aprillynn197
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: out west
Posts: 1,606
10 236 hugs
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#195
Good day today.
__________________ Lamictal Rexulti Wellbutrin Xanax XR .5 Xanax .25 as needed |
Bark, Clara22, Nammu, Rose76, Shriveled Muse
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Member
Member Since Aug 2014
Location: BC
Posts: 123
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#196
Death or not. This thought that constantly permeates my every moment. For all those people that tell me that I have nothing to be upset about, that it's all my imagination, I bet it won't be imagination if I leave from this world, would it?
I know that I wouldn't, but I feel that that moment is gaining momentum... Speeding up closer to the present.... And then I don't know anymore. |
Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, flours, Nammu, Rose76, tigerlily84
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Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: earth
Posts: 96
10 94 hugs
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#197
Quote:
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Shriveled Muse
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Member
Member Since Sep 2014
Location: earth
Posts: 96
10 94 hugs
given |
#198
I live with depression. Has always been that way from the first days I can remember. I think its genetic. And also other things. I had my true self taken from me long ago. And recovering it is a daunting task. I try to smile a lot. And I am successful at doing that when I am out in public. I honestly prefer to smile anyway. I think it makes me feel happy to smile. But there is a deep saddness and depression. This, I know.
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Clara22, flours, Rose76
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Nammu, tigerlily84
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,823
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.3k hugs
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#199
Yesterday I went for a walk in the woods, it was vey muddy as it had been raining. I was walking up a really steep hill and of course I fell face down into the mud. I had an asthma attack for the first time in years. So there I was, lying in the mud, struggling to breath and thinking I don't think I can get up. There was no one to ask for help. Why do I have to do everything alone? Even getting up when I am hurt has to be alone. It has always been that way and now I am so accustomed to alone-ness that it will always be that way.
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Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, flours, gracebuttercup, Nammu, Rose76
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
12 1,194 hugs
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#200
Just numb...regretting my decision of over a year ago, and I'm just a mess since then. I never thought that life could get this complicated. I've really ruined my life...
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Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, flours, gracebuttercup, Nammu, Rose76
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