[outoftheashes88]

Whenever I see my doctor or my therapist, I often find myself not being completely honest. Because I have bad days and good days, it seems to depend on how I am feeling the day of my appointment. I have had great appointments to the point where I have been told I probably don't need to be seen anymore, but then other appointments where I have full on breakdowns. I think that my depression is more severe than they think it is, but they don't have a way of knowing because half the time I go in and tell them everything is going really well. I know that this is affecting my treatment. I want to be honest with them, but it is really hard and there are a lot of things that I don't really want them to know. I am a very private person, and as much as I wish I didn't, I find myself worrying what others think all the time. My mom always reminds me that they see the worst of the worst and that I shouldn't be embarrassed, but I still can't bring myself to tell them everything and how I am probably sadder than they and I myself think I am. Has anyone else had trouble with this?

[AncientMelody]

Do they ever have you do any symptom screenings such as the PHQ or GAD scales? my psychiatrist has me do them at every visit. That or doing a brief daily mood log would be beneficial if you find you fluctuate a lot. I get hormonal shifts in my moods and before we caught on to that, I was having med adjustments based on a temporary fluctuation. Now that we've learned to see the patterns and anticipate things are easier to track in that regard. I strongly recommend you consider doing something similar. That can sometimes also help you track if a bad day was related to lack of sleep, an argument, something you may have eaten, etc. In contrast, you may realize a good day is associated with particular exercise, music or the like and can put more of that into your life.

Best of luck to you

[Altered Moment]

Common problem. I always tend to minimize how bad I am doing. I think others expect that i should be doing better and I don't want to disappoint them.

The way I solved this was to keep a mood log everyday. I date it and write down how I am doing each day and all my symptoms. And whatever else is going on that I want to share. then I just hand it to my pdoc or T and they read it. It doesn't lie and I don't have to try to remember all the things I thought of I wanted to talk about. You don't have to share all your secrets at once. Just share what you can. Of course total honesty is the best way for them to help you.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by outoftheashes88

Has anyone else had trouble with this?

Yes. I have to fight urges to say things to "please" the doctors as quasi-authority figures.

I agree that long-term mood diaries or logs are one good way to counter giving a false impression of how you are actually doing. "Over the past month my condition fluctuated from highs on these dates to lows on these dates. Significant mood-related events included x, y, and z."

[Fuzzybear]

[Kathleen83]

I often am unable to be completely open and honest with the docs. So far the only thing I've been able to do is, tell them - "I can not / will not discuss this, that, whatever, with you at this time, I will not be honest with you if I try." That at least lets them know I'm having a problem, and one I can't deal with at that time. I leave it up to THEM to figure out how to get me to a place where I CAN talk to them about it.

[Altered Moment]

Can you be honest about symptoms though? Like I have no energy, no motivation, no interest. Have anxiety attacks...whatever without going into details about why or the past.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Kathleen83]

For me, it really depends on the doc / therapist. I've walked into some meetings.....and found myself immediately resisting opening up and telling anything close to the truth. I once fled one office, in tears, about 15 minutes into the first visit.

For that one, I just decided that *I* wasn't ready to discuss my issues, period. Other times, I've felt like I just couldn't / wouldn't connect with whomever, and moved on to someone different.....kept searching until I found someone I COULD talk to, at least a little.

For ALL docs / therapists, ALL meetings, I try to keep one main point in mind - no one can force me to talk about something I don't want to talk about. *I* decide what to share, and how much to share. Which brings me right back to, telling THEM I won't talk about whatever, at that point, if I don't want to. Sounds simple, soooo very isn't. Far easier to lie / blow things off / sing them a happy tune. But that's the one hard / harsh rule I insist upon, for myself. If I'm gonna go, I MUST be honest. If I'm going to lie, I might as well not even go.

Being honest doesn't mean you have to dredge up every little thing, and spill everything. Give yourself permission to NOT answer what you can't / don't want to. It's perfectly allowable to say "I won't talk about that today."

[outoftheashes88]

Thanks everyone! I am honest about my symptoms, although sometimes not about the severity of them. I think I'll try doing the daily log idea though to see if that helps. Thanks again!

T often starts like this for me: (If the wording is strange, that's because I'm translating because English is not my native tongue. My T would never say "that sucks" for example.)
T: How are you?
I: Do you mean "right now", "today" or "how has this last week been?"
T: Let's start at right now.
I: I'm OK. About as good as it can get at the moment, actually.
T: That's wonderful! Has all day been like this?
I: No, this morning I was lying on my bed and I couldn't manage to move, and x and y were particularly bad, so I just hugged my stuffed animal for three hours straight.
T: That sucks. Does that happen often? Has it happened often this past week?
I: yes ...

The "how are you" question has so many avenues of interpretation I usually answer 'wrong' on purpose (for example: T: How are you? I: My leg is doing better) so I can avoid really answering. However by asking the T "you mean right now, today, or this week?" she in turn 'forces' me to talk about the whole picture.

[flours]

when I meet my T I always feel like I failed to mention something crucial to understand what is going on. it's just because I don't manage to tell all the details that are important because there is only so much time during a meeting. also I am often in a good mood when I go there and I always try to explain that I don't feel like that all the time but I'm not sure if she really gets it. maybe she does. I don't know. sort of hard to talk in a way to give a right idea about my life and what happens.