I am worried.

about everything. everything becomes less fun every day. no I am seriously concerned. about everything.
too many issues. I am soo so afraid. yeah this is the anxiety part.

sometimes a vague idea of something I would like pops up in my mind but it disappears quickly and I forget what it was. or it starts feeling bad. anyway it gets lost in the overwhelming amount of problems I should solve before anything pleasant can happen.
nothing is fun anymore. it could possibly be. but I am far away from there.

I feel like I need a lot of things. for example I am hungry and thirsty all the time. and I am tired and want to sleep or rest. but I cannot fix this feeling that I am lacking something.

I need to run away from things and I need to run after things. all the time. I am spending far too much time online.
but all the conversations irl I can have are:
hey, how are you?
o I am fine, how are you?
what are you up to?
I am doing this fantastic new project with some really great people.
I am traveling there and there.
I barely have time. maybe we should hang out soon.
see you soon.
see you soon!