Have any of you experiencing depression in your teens and early 20s found it caused a sort of identity crisis? Like it made you question everything you had only just begun to believe was central to your being?
I was always into the performing arts, and pursued it up until the second year of college when I left my school (for a lot of reasons besides depression). I had been majoring in dance and in the first year was very positive and excited about pursuing a dance/performing arts career. I knew I'd have to work a non performance job to get by as a dancer, this didn't deter me. My only deterrent during those years was self esteem: I needed to work on my ability to bounce back from rejection.
Then, I left college, and depression hit me hard. I had been dancing 6 days a week, at least 4 hours a day, but when I left I stopped dancing almost completely. I made small attempts to get back into it, but I'd also been injured and this made it extra painful to try to take class again. I became very out of shape. Two years later and I have taken only one dance class.
At first I was so embarrassed and afraid to go back to dance class because I'd left college in disgrace (so it seemed) and then taken a long break... But later, I began to convince myself that it wasn't really my thing.
I can't really say I'm on a break now. I just don't dance anymore. I miss dancing, but I don't know if it's a core part of me.
Could this be the depression disrupting my sense of self? It really hit me hard when I left dance school, and ever since I've felt kind of unsure of who I am and what I love. Has anyone had this experience of depression causing loss of self knowledge?

[musicformyears]

Hi bluedonna92,

I'm so sorry to hear about this and I can relate. I experienced something similar. I play piano for years and I used to songwrite and compose my own music. Composing and songwriting means a lot to me. It is literally a part of me. I even wanted to pursue a music career...but right now, I'm not even songwriting or composing anymore. I just lost interest in it and I almost lost interest in music...even playing the piano. Just like what you did, I attempted to regain my interest in music. But all attempt didn't last long. I felt like it's a chore. I lost my sense of self too.

You can continue to work on your interest in dance. Get some inspiration by looking amateur dancer...Sometimes, when I look at videos on amateur pianists, I get a bit of motivation. Also, maybe you can try to be more open to new hobbies? It can also be a chance to realise what other areas you are good at.

Don't give up yet. Good luck.

[flours]

Yes, I know this experience well.

[iditp20]

It could be.

I'm currently having this experience. I've lost who I am, what I enjoy and what I what to do or be. It makes you behave in ways you wouldn't

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Rohag]

Yes, I have had and am currently experiencing depression-related shattered or lost identity.

I am inclined to say that some of the things time and depression have taken away remain core parts of me despite my no longer practicing them.

Originally Posted by bluedonna92

Have any of you experiencing depression in your teens and early 20s found it caused a sort of identity crisis? Like it made you question everything you had only just begun to believe was central to your being?
I was always into the performing arts, and pursued it up until the second year of college when I left my school (for a lot of reasons besides depression). I had been majoring in dance and in the first year was very positive and excited about pursuing a dance/performing arts career. I knew I'd have to work a non performance job to get by as a dancer, this didn't deter me. My only deterrent during those years was self esteem: I needed to work on my ability to bounce back from rejection.
Then, I left college, and depression hit me hard. I had been dancing 6 days a week, at least 4 hours a day, but when I left I stopped dancing almost completely. I made small attempts to get back into it, but I'd also been injured and this made it extra painful to try to take class again. I became very out of shape. Two years later and I have taken only one dance class.
At first I was so embarrassed and afraid to go back to dance class because I'd left college in disgrace (so it seemed) and then taken a long break... But later, I began to convince myself that it wasn't really my thing.
I can't really say I'm on a break now. I just don't dance anymore. I miss dancing, but I don't know if it's a core part of me.
Could this be the depression disrupting my sense of self? It really hit me hard when I left dance school, and ever since I've felt kind of unsure of who I am and what I love. Has anyone had this experience of depression causing loss of self knowledge?

Yes! It does. I've been bouncing around for the last 3 years not knowing what I love anymore. I can't even remember what I used to love .

[purplepearl]

I remember reading your thread on my phone the other night and thought I had responded, but it appears I have not.

I experienced this right after I split with my then fiance in my early 20s (right before I turned 21, in fact). I questioned everything about myself: school/work interests, appearance, how I interacted with people, my relationship with my parents, etc. It took me a solid year of complete chaos to get a hold of who I thought I was again.

Now, at 27 I'm currently experiencing an identity crisis again. I got married 10 months ago and this entire year has been a bunch of "what-if" questions floating around my head. Some days I'm OK with my job and the direction of my life, other days I wish I could just keep driving in my car until I end up lost. I still struggle with decisions I made or did not make in my early 20s that have led me to this point, but I'm at a loss of how to change things, or if I even really want to.

I'm sorry you're also experiencing this, I know how confusing it can be. (hugs to you)