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#1
Oct 22, 2014, 11:53 PM
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Every day I wake up and have to mentally convince myself, "You're going to make it through the day, you can do it." But lately it feels like I can't. It's just to much. I literally force myself to do everything. The only fun I have lasts for a short time before I'm again sad. Anger arises so quickly. The only way I get all these feelings out is through a blade. I can't continue with it, but I don't want life to end. I want a better life. But I want a life where I have friends, where I'm actually happy, where I don't SH, a life where I can do the things I actually want to do, and a life where I can be myself. But I don't have that life. I'm just stuck with mine.
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 Frost287, MotherMarcus
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#2
Oct 23, 2014, 12:01 AM
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I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi Diagnosis: Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type PTSD Social Anxiety Disorder Anorexia Binge/Purge type |
 Browncurtains
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#3
Oct 23, 2014, 09:23 AM
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Hope you're feeling better soon
__________________
This is it I'm falling. My wing's need to grow. I lose my hold. I will let go. |
| Browncurtains
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#4
Oct 23, 2014, 09:28 AM
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It gets very old and tiring when you have to force yourself to do things. I want to want to do things. There is a stark difference. When I am in periods when I am not depressed I will naturally get up and shower and want to go out and work or do things or whatever without thinking about it.
When even just moderately depressed I have to force myself to do things I don't really want to do. Some times that works to snap me out if it and sometimes it doesn't.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman Major Depressive Disorder Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun. Recovering Alcoholic and Addict Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide. Male, 50 Fetzima 80mg Lamictal 100mg Remeron 30mg for sleep Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back |
| Browncurtains
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#5
Oct 23, 2014, 08:24 PM
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When I am depressed I feel like I have to force myself to do things as well. I have had to peptalk myself, especially in the mornings. Hope you are feeling better soon.
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| Browncurtains
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#6
Oct 24, 2014, 10:25 PM
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I've been feeling this way also. I might as well be scheduling my pep talks. I'm to the point of counting down hours at thing like work until I can go home and come down from putting the non depressed front on.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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