[Jmall]

So, I have been incredibly depressed. It's at the point where I can barely function. Logically however, I know I have a few options.

• live like this forever
• kill myself
• find a way to make things better

Since option A is going to happen naturally if I do nothing. We can go ahead and cross that out. Since I don't have the guts to do option B we can go ahead and cross that out too. So, obviously, we're left with.

• find a way to make things better

But how does one do that? Especially with being as down as I am. So, I sat in bed all night and came up with a plan. Something that I think (and hope) will work. I challenge you all to do this with me.

First off, I needed some motivation, and while questionable... I used the only thing I really have to motivate myself. I made a deal with myself. If I do not see some improvement by the end of these 60 days I give myself permission to do what needs to be done. Don't get me wrong... I am not an advocate for suicide. I just think that I may as well use it as a resource instead of a constant thought in the back of my head.

Step 1:
Share your plan. This makes you accountable. I know it helps with me to be accountable to somebody. I am sharing my plan here, and with my cousin.

Step 2:
Follow this daily routine. I know it may seem stupid or obvious to some. I however, have such a hard time with these things...

6:00-9:00AM:

• Wake up.
• Drink a glass of water
• Eat a healthy breakfast
• Shower
• Brush teeth

10AM:

• Drink a glass of water
• Have a snack
• Do something physical

12PM:

• Drink a glass of water
• Eat a healthy lunch

3PM:

• Drink a glass of water
• Have a snack

6PM:

• Drink a glass of water
• Eat dinner
• Do something relaxing and NOT electronic.

Before bed:

• Drink a glass of water
• Brush teeth
• Allow yourself a treat (Something fun, a candy bar, a TV show, a video game. If it's food... move it up a spot in the list)

Each step starts with a glass of water. This lets you train your brain to do these things automatically, and will help you get into a 60 day routine.

Each meal should be somewhat healthy. Snacks, treats, and to an extent dinner you should allow yourself something not so healthy.

There is plenty of time in this daily checklist to insert it into whatever you typically do. I challenge you all to do this with me, some of you are probably looking at this thinking how obvious some of these things are... This obviously isn't for you then.

Step 3:
Some things I fail to do with regularity, but they cannot/should not be done every day. I will also be following this weekly checklist. I will double check this list on Monday to make sure it is completed.

• Clean shaven/well groomed facial hair
• Fingernails
• Toenails
• Spend at least an hour outside, doing something physical
• Spend at least an hour outside, relaxing/playing
• Check in with your contact people (For me it is my cousin, and this forum).

Step 4:
Make an appointment with a doctor (not a therapist) for a checkup. Ask them to test your vitamin D, fix if necessary.

Step 5:
Customize the plan to fit your own schedule and responsibilities the checklist is just a list of things to do, it should not be the ONLY things you do. Try to not allow yourself time to be bored, or to get lost in your thoughts. The things I will be adding are:

• No electronics while my daughter is around
• Clean the area I live in (added to morning/night daily checklists an hour of time each)

I am going to do this for 60 days, and see where it takes me. I am not going to give up, even if I fail those things. I challenge others to do this with me. I'll be starting... NOW.

Good luck with this plan, Jmall. Let us know how it's working out for you!

[Curupira]

Good for you! And yes please let us know how you are doing. I am sure you are going to do great!